The Woebegotten Wonderland: News and Notes

2006-11-07T07:04:00.000-05:00

Remember to vote today!

How long has it been, now?

2006-11-05T22:03:00.000-05:00

Time sure flies when you're having flood!

2006-10-19T09:00:00.000-04:00

I just posted this at my other site. I'm too lazy to duplicate it here. If you're interested in reading it, click here.

Tom

What's your theological worldview?

2006-10-16T08:41:00.000-04:00

Here's mine:

You scored as Emergent/Postmodern. You are Emergent/Postmodern in your theology. You feel alienated from older forms of church, you don't think they connect to modern culture very well. No one knows the whole truth about God, and we have much to learn from each other, and so learning takes place in dialogue. Evangelism should take place in relationships rather than through crusades and altar-calls. People are interested in spirituality and want to ask questions, so the church should help them to do this.

Emergent/Postmodern

86%

Classical Liberal

64%

Modern Liberal

64%

Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan

50%

Roman Catholic

46%

Neo orthodox

46%

Charismatic/Pentecostal

32%

Reformed Evangelical

Fundamentalist

What's your theological worldview?
created with QuizFarm.com

Take the quiz. You know you want to.

Tom

New material!

2006-08-31T09:14:00.000-04:00

[Editor's Note: This post also appears at my other site, which has been extensively renovated of late, by the way.]

The Silent Screen began working on some new material last night. Actually, we have been kind of flirting with this material for the last few weeks, but we really got into the arrangements and developing parts last night. All said I think it went very well.

My writing of last has been more geared towards my upcoming acoustic album (very un-Silent Screen fare -- if there is such a thing), so the bulk of what we are working on right now has been brought to the table by Scot. I can't tell if he's been really inspired of late or if he's always like this, but some of the stuff he's writing is just awesome. My personal favorite is called "There's Nothing Like a Nuclear Winter to Cure Global Warming". If I have my way that song will be recorded and posted to our Myspace page in the very near future.

I think I am going to try to balance working on recording both my new acoustic album and the new Silent Screen album at the same time.

I'm almost finished with Jason Huber's band-with-still-no-name-to-speak-of's album. All we have left to complete is a couple of leads and the final vocals and mixing. I am floored by how professional this band has been. If all of my recording experiences with other band's went the way this one has then I would think about trying to produce full time. It's usually such a pain in the ass, though. I have nothing but praise for those guys and think that this finished project is really going to be something. As it's completed and they have it posted somewhere I will provide a link, as I think it is more than worth listening to.

I will try to keep you posted on all musical developments as I can.

Tom

What's news...

2006-08-20T07:42:00.000-04:00

Editor's note: I know I haven't written much lately. The text of this post was written for the News section of my other site. all entries for that site will most likely get posted here as well.

I got back from my vacation this week and I've been meaning to update here all week, but I've been too busy until just now.

What have you been doing? you ask.

(See, isn't it great when someone affords you the ability to participate in their news?)

I guess the biggest thing here is that I've been working on recording a new band. I've even bumped myself from the Pepperhill Studio schedule in order to record these guys.

What the hell kind of band would cause you to bump yourself from your own studio? you ask.

(You're getting very good at this news participation thing... now watch your language. My children visit this site.)

I guess for starters the band would have to be very good, yet very young and in need of help and guidance. Throw in that they've added my best friend since Middle School (Will Shafer, who you may remember contributing Will's Song to Significantly South of Serenity) as their bassist (and guidance-helper-type-guy). Next, to really stir things up, let's say they have the younger brother of the original drummer in my former band (Dave's Not Here) drumming for them. Finish it up with that they're teenagers who are phenomenally talented, lack any deal-breaking egos, and write interesting acoustic pop that will surprise you with it's musicality while your girlfriend shakes her butt to it (yeah, it's like that). After hearing some demos they recorded in their drummer's basement (and after being asked very nicely by their bassist) I just couldn't resist.

Also, the guess here is that you'll be hearing a lot by these guys some day.

So what's this thing about you bumping yourself from the studio schedule? Do you have a new project you're going to be doing? you ask.

(My, you're inquisitive!)

So, as I was saying earlier, I just got back from vacation this week. We went to the beach. Had a fantastic time. Stayed in a million dollar house with its own tennis court and walkway straight out to the beach. You could just wake up in the morning (or afternoon, or whenever...) and in five minutes or less be sitting on the sand or swimming in the ocean. It was awesome. It's the kind of lifestyle I would love to be able to live for more than just one week per year (CDs are available here, if you guys can buy a couple million of them over the next year or so I just might be able to make this dream happen.)

So anyway, it's not like I'm going to go an entire week without a guitar, even if I am in paradise. So I brought a couple of acoustics (a six string and a twelve string) and write most of an acoustic album while vacationing in paradise.

I will be working on this new acoustic material (a solo project, by the way - but I believe I'm going to have Scot and Chappy sit in on a few tunes) as soon as I finish recording Will's band.

After that project The Silent Screen has about and hour or so of new material to be culled through and recorded, so it should be a pretty busy year for me. I'll keep you posted as these projects develop.

Tom

"Sir, in my heart I know I'm funny."

2006-08-16T09:38:00.000-04:00

Bruno Kirby (1949-2006)

Yes you were.

Tom

So it was real, then?

2006-08-01T13:44:00.000-04:00

Don't believe me? Click here.

Tom

So our president thinks God wants Castro dead?

2006-08-01T09:46:00.000-04:00

On Monday, before Castro's illness was announced, President Bush was in Miami and spoke of the island's future.

"If Fidel Castro were to move on because of natural causes, we've got a plan in place to help the people of Cuba understand there's a better way than the system in which they've been living under," he told WAQI-AM Radio Mambi, a Spanish-language radio station. "No one knows when Fidel Castro will move on. In my judgment, that's the work of the Almighty."

Read more here.

To be fair, this was before the announcement of Castro's major surgery and transfer of power to his brother. Also, the argument could be made that he means that everyone's expiration date is set by God. That said it still seems like a pretty reckless thing for the "Leader of the Free World" to say.

What do you think?

Tom

New site!

2006-07-27T10:20:00.000-04:00

The Woebegotten Wonderland has a new Mother Ship! Click here to see my new website, www.tombakerguitar.com. It is still under construction, but it already has Sonic Samplings and it will soon have a store linked to it with the ability to take credit card orders.

Check it out!

Tom

Interesting...

2006-07-26T08:53:00.000-04:00

Read this. I'm not kidding.

Tom

This reminds me of our trip to Gatlinburg last weekend

2006-07-21T10:07:00.000-04:00

Three kids and the largest selection of different Go-Kart and Putt-Putt places (complete with junk food vendors) in the world.

Nuff said.

Tom

Because apparently, in Kentucky, we ARE this stupid...

2006-07-17T18:23:00.000-04:00

Want to know more? Click here.

Public Service Announcement

2006-07-17T18:01:00.000-04:00

Say what!?

2006-07-17T13:29:00.000-04:00

This has to be one of the most absurd things I've ever read. An excerpt:

If there was ever a better symbol of how some of our sports figures have become inebriated with their own uber-celebrity while marinating heartily in a stew of self-importance, it might be the supposed multitasking of one Eddie Griffin, who is alleged to have mastered the fine art of simultaneously driving drunk while masturbating.

It's almost enough to make you forget the Bengals' recent troubles. That, or remind you of them. As a whole I'd say it's not the best time to be a Cincinnati sports fan.

Tom

I guess I'm a Nationals fan now...

2006-07-14T13:32:00.000-04:00

As a now former Reds fan, I can say that I totally agree with this.

Sure they needed bullpen help, but this just may be the worst trade I've ever heard of. I acknowledge that I'm biased. I graduated from Lafayette High School one year ahead of Austin Kearns. I even had the windshield of my car cracked by one of his batting practice home runs. Josh and I have watched most of his at bats with the Reds this year on FSN Ohio. But any trade sending and All-Star shortstop and a good fielding outfielder who is second on the team in RBI, both of whom are only 26, just to get some more arms in the bullpen is a bad trade. PERIOD.

Tom

Strange guitar sighting

2006-06-30T15:32:00.000-04:00

Can somebody tell me what this guitar is? It looks like a cross between a Gibson-esque electric and an Ovation twelve-string (check out the headstock). I have never seen anything like it, and that is really saying something.

Also, I think it is very cool that my son loves Pearl Jam. I listened to them when I wasn't that much older than Josh is now, and they're still around and making music that rocks that Josh and I can share.

This does make me long for Soundgarden and Alice in Chains, though.

Sigh,

Tom

Who knew Ann Coulter was such a geek?

2006-06-20T13:07:00.000-04:00

The following is an excert of a piece written by Jim Caple as Ann Coulter:

"The liberals hate Darth Vader just for being a strong leader and trying to preserve traditional values in the Empire. At least in the Empire, they supported their troops, which is more than you can say about Cindy Sheehan and the blue staters. But no, these Blame The Empire First liberals would rather cheer known smuggler Han Solo (how do we know he doesn't smuggle drugs in the Millennium Falcon? Or worse, steroids? I mean, look at all the hair on Chewbacca's back) and that twisted pervert Luke who tries to kill his father and wants to sleep with his sister, and the so-called Rebel Alliance, which is nothing more than a bunch of terrorists with good PR. Their idea of a dream world is the ice planet Hoth, where there is never a threat of global warming. And why do the liberals bash the Death Star so much? At least it put people to work instead of having them stand around waiting for a welfare check. Repeat after me: Death Stars don't kill people, people kill people. Not that the residents of Alderaan were necessarily people in the sense they possessed the same DNA and precious stem cells as us. But how do we know they wouldn't have destroyed Tatooine if Darth hadn't launched his preemptive attack?"

The entire piece can be found here.

Tom

Pretty Flashing Lights

2006-06-03T06:37:00.000-04:00

Sorry it's been so long since I last posted. All I do at work is sit at two different computers and type stuff into a database and then forward it out to other states, so lately every time I've sat down at the computer at home to do anything it's just kind of felt like I'm working.

A lot has happened since I last posted. I'm another year older (my Birthday was May 22). My family has, for the most part, given up on trying to find me presents that I'll actually like. Instead they just give me money to spend, with the only stipulation being that I can not spend it on bills. Some years that stipulation is necessary, although very inconvenient. This has been a good year, so I just spent most of it on music DVDs and CDs (a new pair of sandals is also forthcoming).

Josh has also been a busy boy. His T-Ball team is kicking some serious butt. Their last regular season game is today and, assuming a victory (not much of a stretch this year) they will finish 15-1 and win the regular season title. They've actually already clinched the regular season title, but we like for them to have something to play for so they don't actually know that they don't really have to win today. I've discovered that the best way for Josh to be athletically successful is for me to be involved as little as possible in the coaching of his team. His basketball team that I helped coach did not win a single game. In fact, our most competitive game was a twelve point defeat. That's as close as we came to victory all year. The T-Ball team that I am a mere spectator for is the best team in the league. I can see how this works.

Josh has also taken a great deal of interest (I'm sure this will surprise no one) in the new music that has infiltrated our house. One of our favorites so far is the Pearl Jam DVD I just bought. He absolutely loves it. I had forgotten what a great band Pearl Jam was (and is, assuming it is a live show and not a studio release - I'm not sure how they lost their mojo in the studio, but their live shows apparently still kick major ass). He and Caleb actually started an impromptu mosh pit on my bed while we were watching that DVD. It reminded me of the 90s all over again.

Along with the Pearl Jam DVD (and many others that were acquired with my birthday loot) there has also been some rough mixes and demos for the new Silent Screen album (which is almost finished - I need to get off my ass and do my last two parts for it) floating around in BakerLand. Josh has taken a real interest in what makes up music, especially rhythmically. He has learned how to count in quarter time (1, 2, 3, 4) and how to tap those quarter notes with one hand along with the beat while accenting on the two and the four with the other hand. He's trying to learn to play drums by watching drummers, and he's very enthusiastic about it. You won't find him listening to music anymore without tapping along with it. The other day, however, he had the misfortune of attempting this trick on one of The Silent Screen's songs that I wrote titled "Scream". It has a very heavy groove, the kind Josh really likes right now (our house is all 90s, all the time until further notice). He was really digging the song but he just couldn't make his quarter note tapping work out. Finally he threw his hands up in the air and just looked at me helplessly, as if to say, "I give up!" Josh had no way of knowing this yet (he's still a six-year-old musical novice) but the song is in 11/8. He never stood a chance. Of course, as if to rub it in, at the end of the song Chappy plays quarter notes on the ride against the part in 11. But Josh isn't quite there yet.

After all of that I asked Josh what he liked better, Pearl Jam or Daddy's band. He sat silently for a minute and then responded, "Well... You guys don't have those light flashes. You need to get some of those."

Defeated by light flashes!

Tom

A long story very short...

2006-05-10T06:05:00.000-04:00

So why has it been so long since I last posted?

Let's see...

I got a new job, temporarily lost internet service to my house, got sick, had Finals, Caleb had oral surgery, the Mustang broke down, I've been recording and mixing with The Silent Screen, and as a whole I've been very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very busy.

I'll tell you all about it when I have the time.

Tom

This is just so wrong...

2006-04-19T16:53:00.000-04:00

Vulcan Karaoke? Who knew?

Thank you, Squirrelly.

Tom

Because I had to see if my life is better than Shannon's...

2006-04-14T11:30:00.000-04:00

Shannon has her results from this life rating test posted at her blog. I had to see how I compared. Here's how I scored:

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.9
Mind:	6.8
Body:	5.5
Spirit:	9.2
Friends/Family:	7.9
Love:	9.1
Finance:	6.3
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Apparently my body needs some work. I think I can live with that, seeing as how well I'm loved. And my spirit is in awesome shape. I do find it interesting how much higher I scored on love than my wife. Is there something I should know about? Is there something she should know about?

How did you do?

Tom

The Silent Screen: Production Notes Blog

2006-04-13T16:59:00.000-04:00

The Silent Screen has a new blog that will detail the process of recording an upcoming project, as well as whatever other currently unforeseen uses it may serve. Check it out by clicking the above picture or here.

Tom

There's nothing like a little Maundy Thursday sacrilege...

2006-04-13T14:03:00.000-04:00

A little sacrilege from the Savage Chickens

I have nothing more to add to this. I kind of feel guilty for thinking it's funny, but I think I can live with that.

Tom

Tech talk

2006-04-13T14:00:00.000-04:00

For those of you who know me you know that I'm a bit of a guitar tech geek. I can tell you more than you would ever want to know about most guitars, pickups, amps, pre-amps, effects, etc. In fact, if you do know me then chances are you have been subjected at some point to a very long conversation about those things that you could not, no matter how hard you tried, get out of.

For as big a geek as I am about guitar equipment, Nels Cline is a bigger one. For as many pedals as I have and use (Scot and Chappy, you know all about this), Nels Cline has more and uses more.

Here is an artist's depiction of Nels Cline's effects set-up:

And yet here's what Nels has to say at the end of the "Tech Talk" section of his website:

As I've said, so much time, energy, and MONEY goes into talk about equipment and the like, when only a few things are really of paramount significance when it comes to musicmaking - and guess what, I don't think equipment is high on that list! It still comes down to WHAT NOTES one chooses to play and to HOW ONE TOUCHES THE INSTRUMENT.

The bottom line?

That is something that is good for all of us guitarists and guitar geeks (as well as other music geeks out there) to keep in mind. The most crucial element in the equation of good tone is your hands. That is how you can tell that Mark Knopfler is playing whatever part you hear him playing. Whether it is a Les Paul, a Strat, or an acoustic, clean or overdriven, whatever effects may or may not be on the track, they all feature the hands of Mark Knopfler.

A friend of mine came over a little while ago to jam. He plays a Strat straight into an Ampeg amp. I play (mostly) a Parker into all of my effects (too numerous to bother listing here), then into either both channels of my Peavey (Normal and Bright simultaneously for a really cool texture) or one channel of the Peavey (Normal) and either a Fender Blues Junior or a Fender Super Reverb.

My friend decided while playing with me that he might be interested in employing a more complicated setup like mine. So I let him just play my Parker into my setup. I even dialed up some of my favorite sounds. It just didn't sound right. It didn't sound like me. With all of the same equipment at the same settings, but with his hands playing the way that he plays, some of my favorite settings ended up sounding bad.

He gets a fantastic sound out of his setup, but he just sounded wrong through mine. I'm sure that he could find some effects that would compliment the way he plays better than mine did, I'm just not sure he really needs them. He's found his sound, and he plays best when his signal path remains unmolested.

Effects aren't there to produce the sound. They effect and shape it, but your hands (in conjunction with the instrument) produce it. I like to use my effects to enhance what I'm doing. I like to use several different overdrives, modulation effects, and delays to get some neat, ethereal, raw and yet weird-ass sounds. But the core of my sound, and any guitarist's sound, is in my hands. I sound an awful lot like me no matter what equipment I'm using.

I discovered this fact with much dismay a few years ago. I felt like I was in a bit of a rut. I really didn't like my sound. I had been using mostly Fender amps and single-coil equipped guitars. So I switched to my Peavey amp. I put humbuckers in some of my guitars and I bought some more with humbuckers. I added some new overdrive pedals and an active EQ to further shape my sound. But the end result was more like a minor tweaking than the radical overhaul I was looking for. I had changed gears, equipment wise, about as far as I could without going into full-stack mode (I still like smaller tube amp combos), and yet the sound was still basically the same sound I've always had. I often marvel at that phenomenon. Eric Clapton has morphed from using Gibsons (with the tone knob rolled all the way down on the bridge pickup) through Marshall stacks to using Strats (with active mid-boost) through small Fender combos, and yet he still sounds like Eric Clapton! The gear is just a minor part of the sound.

So what's the moral of all of this? Find your sound. It's in your hands. Get them ready. Practice. Hone your tone. And then don't worry too much about the equipment. It's there to assist you, it can't do your job for you. That's between you and your hands.

I leave you with this tech checklist from Nels Cline:

Tom

Happy Diversity Day, Motherfucker!

2006-04-12T10:05:00.000-04:00

This man thinks that his discriminating against gay people can earn your vote!

There's nothing as detrimental to civil rights as a politically desperate Republican Governor pandering to his conservative base in the vain hope of re-election.

Don't believe me?

The following was reported by the Lexington Herald-Leader today:

Gov. Ernie Fletcher declared yesterday "Diversity Day," then cut from the state government's employment policy a provision that explicitly protected gay workers from being discriminated against.

The move prompted criticism from a gay Republican group as well as Democratic lawmakers, who called it short-sighted for Fletcher to remove "sexual orientation and gender identity" from a list of characteristics the previous administration sought to shield from discrimination. They also pointed out the irony of making that change on a day meant to celebrate Kentuckians' diversity.

The article goes on to explain the Governor's actions in this way:

Fletcher's poll numbers have fallen over the past year, particularly after the hiring investigation began. But Fletcher, recently, has outwardly strengthened his resolve to run for re-election next year.

Rep. Joseph Fischer, R-Fort Thomas, said Fletcher's decision to remove sexual orientation was a "good political move" for the Republican governor because it would please the base of loyal GOP voters.

"There's no question that any governor or any politician needs to have his base strongly behind him before he embarks on an election campaign," Fischer said, noting that many Republicans in Northern Kentucky would probably approve of the move.

"I don't see any downside to the governor taking sexual orientation out," he said.

Want to read the entire article? Click here.

This is not the first thing Governor Fletcher has done of late to shamelessly pander to religious conservatives. Fletcher signed into law recently a bill that would place a Ten Commandments monument on Capitol grounds, in direct violation of a U.S. Supreme Court ruling. Yes, the ruling was about that specific display, and not displays in general. Apparently it is the Governor's hope that the federal court would "modify" its ruling, as the state has exhausted all of its appeals in the case. For the time being the Governor appears content to be in contempt of the U.S. Supreme Court as long as it may buy him some political capital in the upcoming election.

Combine that with the willful change in law to allow discrimination against gays in hiring, and I believe that it is starting to resemble the 50s again. During that time political officials in Bible belt states didn't mind being in direct violation of federal law and human decency, as long as it impassioned their ignorant, bigoted base and secured their re-election.

The hope here is that times have changed enough that people will no longer fit into these ignorant stereotypes the Governor and his ilk have placed them in, and will see this shameful pandering for what it is: Winning (or attempting to win) an election on the backs of a marginalized minority, boosted by ignorant people who believe that intolerance is the will of God. Given this recent backlash against a school that expelled a student for being gay, I'd like to think that the popular opinion is not as favorable to discrimination as the Governor and other state conservatives would like to believe.

Regardless of what the popular opinion may actually be, and however the elections end up turning out, it is the epitome of bad form to introduce such anti-diversity legislation on Diversity Day. It's like saying to gays in the state, "Happy Diversity Day, Motherfucker. We don't like your kind around here."

Tom

Ringing the bell

2006-04-11T20:29:00.000-04:00

Ring me!

My daughter Maggie takes gymnastics lessons. I have been, the few times I have been able to watch, very impressed with the way her gymnastics facilities are run. One feature in particular impresses me. Although they have a gym roughly the size of two football fields filled with some of the most state of the art equipment I have ever seen, and have classes taught by some very well regarded (and quite impressive, let me tell you) teachers who are very kind and gentle and yet extraordinarily demanding (I wish I could master that art), the thing that impresses me most about the facilities that host Maggie's gymnastics class is a device that gives the children a great sense of validation.

Every time one of the girls (or boys, there are a fair amount of boys who both take and instruct classes there) does something extremely well there is a bell which they get to go ring. Ever time the bell rings, all students (regardless of age and ability) stop what they are doing, turn to where the bell is, and applaud the bell ringer.

How I would love a bell that I could ring. I think that pretty much all of us could use some validation of that kind. That's one of the reasons that we blog. We're looking for a kind of validation that comes with other people reading about what's on our mind. It's not as though we feel like everything we have to say has some kind of a life altering value to our readers, but it's nice to know that somebody's reading. That somebody cares. That's one of the reasons I love the comments section so much.

In a personal conversation you get non-verbal feedback that can be reaffirming. There are head nods and looks that show empathy, of knowing, of agreement and identification with that which we are saying. The computer screen just stares back, cold and blank. It offers no such validation. That is why it feels so good to receive that via the comments section. It just lets the writer know that somebody read what was written. That somebody cared. (There are some posts that I don't think anyone should have to care about, but I'm not going to get on that right now... Maybe later, if I'm in a profoundly bad mood.)

I would like to take this time to ring the proverbial bell. Not for myself, I'm too proud to admit that I just might be that needy. I would like to ring the bell for my son, Josh. (Maggie rang her own bell at gymnastics, and Caleb might accidentally break it with his Jedi/Pirate/Conan the Barbarian strength.)

Josh has been playing baseball very well in practice the last few weeks. He's been fielding the ball consistently at third base and making quite a few plays. He's also hitting the ball a ton. It's like he's starting to figure out that he's one of the biggest, strongest, and fastest kids in the league and it's high time he started playing like it. The kid is turning into a stud baseball player. But that is not why I am ringing the bell for Josh.

Josh has always been bright. Josh has always been regarded by those who have taught him as being a good listener and very quick on the uptake. He's just a good kid. But last night he blew me away. While talking to his Grandpa Ken (Shannon's dad) on the phone, Josh explained to Ken what homonyms are. This boy is six! He also knows what antonyms and synonyms are and his favorite new word is "gargantuous"! He's the kind of kid that would have been beat up alot when I was in school, except he's also a jock (being both of such dementions that a beating is very unlikely and having a common ground with all of the non-nerds - Josh is still a bit of a nerd, though) and all of the girls love him. (He gets notes from girls in his backpack all of the time.) How in the world could my son be so nice, so smart, so athletic, and so popular with the girls?

Come to think of it, with all he does so well, he's probably had enough validation from his coaches, teachers, teammates, classmates, and almost everyone else he encounters! I've changed my mind. I'm ringing the bell for Bessie the Deathtrap, my soon-to-be departed Ford van.

As I was leaving the parking lot from Maggie's gym today, a Soccer Mom in a Lexus SUV started turning into the isle I was in. As soon as she saw me she turned as fast as I have ever seen a vehicle turn, just to get out of my way. That's one of the things I'm going to miss about that van when I'm driving a Soccer-Mom-approved Mini-Van. The intimidation factor. Bessie just screams that she wouldn't even notice hitting your new BMW. I have cars part for me the way they did for Jim Carrey when he was playing God (or at least a guy with God's power) in Bruce Almighty.

Bessie, you'll be missed.

Tom

WTF?

2006-04-10T20:44:00.000-04:00

Farm truck?

I just don't know what to make of this.

I saw a Cadillac Escalade driving on Alumni Drive today. Oh, that doesn't seem odd to you? It had Yosemite Sam mud flaps and a Farm licence plate. That's one hell of a farming truck!

I have nothing more to say.

Tom

Today's little nugget of intolerance

2006-04-08T16:58:00.000-04:00

This is brought to you by the asinine fundamentalist stupidity of the University of the Cumberlands as reported by the Lexington Herald-Leader.

[Editor's note- My twin posted something about this story today here. I will have you all know that this post was posted a full three minutes before his. I am no copycat.]

[Update (4-11-06)- For more coverage on this event and fallout from it click here, here, and here.]

Dream or nightmare? Reflections on a really cool song by Adrian Belew

2006-04-08T15:24:00.000-04:00

I just bought King Crimson's The ConstruKction of Light. I know I've come to own that album a little late, but better late than never, right? Anyway, on my first listen I was struck by just how powerful the song titled "Coda" from "Larks' Tongues in Aspic- Part IV" is. It almost moved me to tears (which is not easily done- ask my wife).

The entire song consists of just statements that are not really connected and don't describe anything. Yet they touch on some of the most terribly compelling and tragically memorable events of the last century. The stark, sterile lack of descriptive language and emotion about such catastrophic events against the powerfully emotive music has an overwhelming effect.

Imagine how I felt, given how moving the album version of the song is to me, when I discovered that there is another version of the song, titled "I Have a Dream" (click here to listen to it) that was deemed too controversial for the album.

I found the following explanation of the inspiration and process of the writing for "I Have a Dream" on Adrian Belew's website:

Looking back at the last half of the 20th Century what stands out most, unfortunately, are the bad things. Wars, deaths, crimes, etc. Of course many great and wonderful things happened or were discovered but are not as readily recalled. Why? Because the bad things are 'events' while the good things are mostly 'non-events'. For example: people have a visual image of the JFK assassination, a sort of CNN moment. By contrast the invention of the polio vaccine (a good thing which has affected far more lives) does not have a visual image. It's a non-event. We can picture the Vietnam War, it was chronicled on film, burned into our collective consciousness. It's an event. Conversely, the affect of computers on our lives has been tremendous but gradual: a non-event. Everyone remembers where they were when John Lennon died, not so much when he was born. With this in mind and with my journalistic approach of simply mentioning things, I had some words by mid- December. I showed them to Robert. The next day Robert came upstairs to give me a further approach to the lyric. He suggested I write a second verse of good things, personal things, like the joy of having a child. He suggested IN MY LIFETIME as a title. I had been bothered by the one-sided dark nature of the lyric and I liked Robert's idea. Over the course of the remaining few weeks I tried to make the idea work out. But because of the emotional sadness of the melody nothing worked. Joyful things did not sing well over the melody. I tried my best. Eventually I accepted it was a song which could not have a happy ending.

To read more click here.

Tom

The Guitar Holy Grail?

2006-04-07T18:50:00.000-04:00

Parker PM-20 Pro

Apparently it's "budget guitars be damned". In response to my last post featuring my Budget Guitar Round-Up, my wife says I should forget about the "affordable" ones and get this one. I'm inclined to agree with her, especially since she seems to be fairly adamant about it, and it's something that I certainly wouldn't hurt me any.

We sat down and figured out how to do it and still be able to eat, so I think all systems are go and I should get it sometime by the end of May or beginning of June (right around my Birthday- Happy Birthday to me!). I've found a place in Ohio that has the PM-20 Pro in stock, so I should be able to visit it soon and make sure that it's everything I never knew I always wanted.

I thought I might give this reluctantly not-so-budget guitar (though very well priced for what it is at $1198 List, $799 Street) the same treatment that my "Round-Up" guitars received.

The Parker PM-20 Pro is the top of their import P-series line. It features a Mahogany neck with Ebony fingerboard set into a Mahogany body. The body is beautifully bound with Abalone and the fingerboard features a White-Pearl star at the twelfth fret. This guitar weighs in (according to their website) at a substantial (but not heavy- it is a Parker, after all) 7.72 lbs. (compared to about 7.5 lbs. for my Franken-Tele and about 6 lbs. for my NiteFly).

The neck is their "fat" neck which, according to reviews of other Parker guitars featuring this neck profile, is substantial but still quite fast and comfortable. Most Parker necks I have played fit very much on the "ultra-thin" side of things, well suited for shredding. I like the profile on all of the Parkers I've played (especially my own), but since I prefer the thicker 50's profile neck (as opposed to the more shred-worthy 60's profile) on a Les Paul, the "fat" neck on this Paul-like guitar should suit my tastes nicely.

My favorite finish option is the white one pictured above, but they also have a cherry sunburst finish with an optional Flamed Maple top.

The PM-20 Pro is very similar to the PM-10 that I wrote about here. The biggest differences are the bridge and tailpiece unit (TonePros string-through bridge, no need for a stop tailpiece) and pickups (Seymour Duncan Jazz and JB humbuckers- the same set found on my favorite Parker guitar, their top-of-the-line Fly Mojo). The PM-20 Pro also features my favorite tuning keys, Sperzel locking tuners.

Everything about this guitar screams "top shelf" except the price tag. I look forward to playing one and really look forward to (hopefully- I don't want to get too carried away until it's a done deal) owning one.

I'm kind of glad Shannon did read the last post, after all.

Tom

Tom's Budget Guitar Round-Up!

2006-04-06T08:45:00.000-04:00

Guitar Player did a feature for the May 2006 issue that reviews 20 guitars in the "under $500" price range. I have never read so many dangerous words in my life. 20 awesome (or at least most of them are awesome) that are all affordable, even on my meager budget? My wife would be displeased. The Tom is quite tempted.

Due to this article and the ensuing temptations that came from it, I have decided to feature some of the most tempting guitars I've ever found ($2000 guitars cannot tempt me, I do not have $2000) here at The Woebegotten Wonderland. Some of these were mentioned in the Guitar Player article, others were not. All are wonderful instruments that I can't afford to be able to afford.

[Editor's note- The guitars I wrote about here fit into this category and are both very tempting, as well. I elected not to include them because... well... ummm... I mean I just wrote about them. You can go to that post and read more than you probably care to about them.

Also, I know that $521 (see the Brian Moore i91) is more than $500. My Round-Up features guitars that are around $500, not under $500. Besides, I'm not really in the mood to quibble about $21.]

Parker PM-10

The Parker PM-10 features a Mahogany body with a Mahogany set neck with an Ebony fingerboard. It has two custom-wound Parker Stinger Alnico HH pickups with three way selection and push-pull coil tapping. Its hardware includes a tune-o-matic bridge, stop tailpiece, and Grover tuners.

The finish I like the most on this guitar is the glossy black one (pictured), which looks especially sleek with the black hardware and no markings on the neck. I'm a big fan of Parker guitars. I've never played one that I didn't really like. This guitar would appear to be no exception, as it recently received a Guitar Player Editors' Pick Award.

I have not yet played the PM-10 (which is an unfortunate refrain of mine for most of these guitars) as there is no Parker dealer in the area. I'm going to try to get my hands on one these next time I go to Louisville of Cincinnati.

List price= $798; Street price= $499.

Brian Moore i91

The Brian Moore i91 is the non synth-ready i1000 series version of their popular i9 guitar. [Editor's note- The iGuitar91.13 is the i1000 series version of this guitar that is synth-ready. It is unfortunately far too expensive to be all that tempting to me, thereby not meeting the requisite criteria to be featured here.] I have played a few different versions of the i9 (i2000 series and iGuitar series) and they were both spectacularly responsive instruments (more responsive than even my Parker NiteFly). Unfortunately those two instruments priced me out.

The i1000 series is the most affordable line of Brian Moore guitars. The biggest difference between it and the more expensive lines is the pickups, which are Brian Moore Classic "iM" Alnico pickups (hum-single-hum on the i9 models) instead of the Seymour Duncan pickups found on the more expensive models. The Maple tops also look better (as should be expected) on the more expensive models. I do, however, like the natural finish (pictured) on this guitar very much.

All i9 models feature a Mahogany body with a Flamed Maple top and a bolt-on Maple neck. They also have Brian Moore's uniquely contoured body (which I find to be quite comfortable) and their "innovative" jack position (on the back of the guitar) which I have never really gotten used to.

List price= $695; Street price= $521.

Yamaha AES620

This is the only guitar listed here that I have actually played in the exact model as listed. It is also another one that garnered a Guitar Player Editors' Pick Award.

The Yamaha AES620 is a very cool instrument that features a Mahogany neck set into a Mahogany body with a Flamed Maple top. It also features the sleek-looking yet very functional Yamaha Original AES bridge and tailpiece. I say that it is "very functional" because it separates each string and runs them through the body for at different lengths for more clarity, but still has a fair amount of mass (like a stop tailpiece) for plenty of sustain.

The pickup situation is a little weird on this guitar. The neck pickup is Yamaha Alnico humbucker, but the bridge pickup is a Seymour Duncan JB. The JB just may be my favorite bridge position humbucker (I have one on my Parker). It is awesome for both clean and overdriven rhythm sounds, and may be may favorite pickup to solo on, as well. I came very close to buying this guitar a couple of years ago. My only beef was that I did not really like the neck position pickup sounds. I could replace the neck pickup, but I don't have a lot of time or money to do that with.

The feel of the guitar is so good, though, that if given the chance I might re-think that decision and actually purchase this sucker.

List price= $799; Street price= $496.

Godin Radiator

The Godin Radiator is far and away the most unique guitar listed here. It is also the most alluring, given its retro-cool look and very reasonable price. This price is made especially reasonable when considering that all Godin guitars are made in their North American (Canada) facilities. This is not a sub-contracted import-line guitar. This is every bit as much a Godin as their over $1000 guitars.

The Radiator features a short scale (24 3/4") bolt-on Maple neck with a Rosewood fingerboard. The body is chambered Silver Leaf Maple. There is no pickup selector switch on this guitar. Instead, the two Low Noise Godin-Designed single coil pickups each have their own volume knob. The guitar also has a master tone knob. This electronics package is supposed to make this guitar a very tonally diverse instrument. As I have not played it, I cannot accurately report on that. I have played a lot of other Godin models and have yet to find one that I do not like.

My biggest concern with this guitar is the fact that it has single coil pickups. I prefer humbuckers for both more output and less noise. I have found that if I use my amp and EQ pedal properly I can still get a fair amount of "bite" and treble response from my humbucker-equipped guitars. The only thing I miss from the single coils is the extra noise. These pickups are billed as "low noise" so this guitar is definitely worth checking out. Besides, at this price I could always look into replacement pickups, so long as they don't mess up the look of this guitar, which is its real appeal.

List price= $415; Street price= $349.

All of these guitars have some very alluring qualities, and are dangerously priced to sell (to me). If I had to pick one I'd probably go with the Parker, because of my long love-affair with the company and its proven track record of making instruments I just can't put down. If I can swing it, I'm going to try to get my hands on one (just to play, not buy... for now).

I hope Shannon isn't reading this.

Tom

Convert!

2006-03-30T13:18:00.000-05:00

I have found a new religion that better resonates with my views on the nature (and form) of God and Intelligent Design. To learn more about it, click here. To see what some of the more enlightened members of the religious community have to say about this faith (and its creator) click here.

Tom

Need proof?

From left- Mike Holland, Chris Baker, Me
We're doing our part to fight global warming!

[Editor's note- I know I've given you a lot to look at today. Please be sure to vote here for my next (dream) guitar.]

A good example of why I need a new car (or van)...

2006-03-30T13:17:00.000-05:00

Listen to their theme song! Click here.

Princess Pinky introduced me to these characters with this post. If you read her blog, you no doubt already know that we are looking to buy a new van to replace Bessie the Deathtrap. It is desperately needed and arguably long overdue. It is, however, a HUGE purchase. And since it will require us to go into debt for the next six years I am not too concerned about putting up with Bessie a little while longer. I would like to make sure that we find a vehicle that fits our needs and our budget. Call me crazy.

If you have read the comments on this post you will know that Her Royal Pinkness has beseeched her noble Tom to blog today. I thought that there would some good symmetry in posting this cartoon (that I found through her blog) in a post about one of her pet topics amongst the gluttonous number of my other pointless postings of the day.

I hope that the Lady of Pink has learned her lesson. If not, I am disinclined to write more pointless drivel to appease her. I may be tapped out.

Tom

From the mouths of children...

2006-03-30T11:42:00.000-05:00

The following statements are from letters to God by children. They did not come from my children, but they should have:

Dear God,

Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones why don't you just keep the ones you got now?

Jane

---

Dear God,

I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that OK?

Neil

---

Dear God,

Thank you for the baby brother but what I prayed for was a puppy.

Joyce

---

Dear God,

I bet it is very hard for you to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it.

Nan

---

Dear God,

If we come back as something please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her.

Denise

---

Dear God,

We read that Thos Edison (sic) made light but in Sun. school they said you did it. So I bet he stoled your idea.

Sincerely,

Donna

---

Dear God,

Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.

Larry

I have nothing to add to these letters. I have no point to make and nothing to tie this up neatly with. Get from these statements whatever you want to. I just felt like I had to share them.

Also, thanks for the e-mail, Howard.

Tom

Pick one

2006-03-30T09:13:00.000-05:00

The guitar on the top is a Reverend Warhawk. The one on the bottom is a Reverend Charger (click on either one to see a larger picture of it). For those of you who know me well, you may note that each is finished such that it looks very similar to my Franken-Tele (the guitar formerly known as "Tex", and my primary guitar with The Silent Screen). [Editor's note- Other finishes are available, but I'm not interested in them. I like the black.] That, along with the fact that they are both very cool and start at less than $500, is the basis of their appeal. I think either of these guitars would look just fantastic on stage with The Silent Screen alongside Franken-Tele and the Fly.

I know they look a lot alike, but they have some differences that (to a geek like me) make them very different guitars. The Warhawk is constructed with a solid mahogany body. The center section of the body is raised (both in the front and the back) which is supposed to improve clarity and sustain. The neck is maple, with a rosewood fingerboard and a really cool black reverse headstock.

The Charger has a solid spruce top (very cool) on a chambered basswood body. It also has a maple neck with a rosewood fingerboard, but the headstock is not painted or reversed.

Both guitars have the same pickups (Reverend humbuckers) and electronics (passive volume and tone with Reverend's Bass Contour control and three-way switching) and each weighs about 7.5 pounds (great for a Tom with back issues).

I know that I can't really afford (and frankly, don't really need) another guitar right now. Please (Shannon) don't tell me this. I need a dream. This may be a silly one, but it's what I have right now.

For the record, I'm leaning towards the Charger.

Tom

Beach Tom!

2006-03-25T08:42:00.000-05:00

I hope this makes my wife happy.

Thank you God my food

2006-03-20T16:04:00.000-05:00

Shannon and I have been sick for the last couple of days. Not the kind of sick where you're a little sniffly and have a slight cough. We have been knock-you-on-your-ass-and-stay-in-bed-for-the-rest-of-the-week sick.

This occurred at a most inopportune time. It was my Spring Break from school, and it was also Shannon's brother, Pete's Spring Break as well, so he was in Lexington visiting us. Shannon and I have a kind of epic struggle over household chores. Shannon is convinced that they are my responsibility. I remain convinced that they are her's. We have remained locked in this mortal combat over household chores for the duration of our marriage (six-and-a-half years), and our house has therefore managed to maintain itself in something of a state that could be charitably described as "disarray".

When we have visitors, however (this applies only to those from out-of-town, as you friends in Lexington no doubt know) we manage to put aside our differences of opinion and get the house into tip-top shape. The house looked excellent (to us, for normal people read: "livable") for Pete's visit, and remained that way most of the time he was here. We also, since we were trying our hand at living like "normal" people, cooked meals at home that were both healthy and delicious, and all sat at the table and ate like a "real" family.

One of the things my children love to do is pray, especially when we are all together for a meal. I'm not bragging, I think that this trait has very little to do with me. I think my only contribution to their prayoral pre-disposition is whatever little genetic defect that makes them fight with each other over who's turn it is to pray. The only childhood mealtime (or other time) prayer I consistently prayed was a silent one asking God that it please not be my turn to pray in front of everybody. I guess I have always felt inadequate that way. But I'm supposed to be talking about my children, not my emotional insecurities...

Back on track. So my children love to pray. Generally before each meal we select one to lead us in prayer. That child will pray, either in the form of a song called "God Our Father" that they learned in preschool, or just by saying something like "thank you God for our good food, and for Mommy and Daddy, and all the baseballs in the world, and for guitars...", etc. They can be very thankful for a lot of the things that we take for granted. They can even be thankful for things I'm not even sure exist, but that's for another story. Shannon and I are sick, remember?

So we'd done a very good job for the first part of the week keeping the house neat and clean. Dinners are served at the kitchen table (we have no dining room) around 6:30 or so instead of in the living room around 8:00. Meals consist of a small portion of lean meat (pork chop, chicken, roast beef, etc.) and at least one serving each of fruits and vegetables. Milk, water, and juice are our beverages, not pop or Kool Aid. Dishes are put not on the counter or in the sink, but in the dish washer after every meal. Homework is checked. The children are bathed and in bed by their appointed bedtime. Life is going pretty well and I'm feeling pretty good about our system. It's really working! Why haven't we been able to do this constantly before?

Then Friday morning hits. I have an alarm clock that is set to 7:00am. I don't need it. I get up every morning before 6:30 and promptly turn it off. I'm not sure that I had heard that alarm in years... Until Friday morning. The alarm is going off and I can't get out of bed. I can't move. I can't open my eyes. I can't do anything. I remember Shannon talking on the phone in the living room and I think I remember a Sixpence None the Richer CD playing at some point. That's about it. I never really got out of bed on Friday.

[Editor's note- This condition did not keep me from watching UK beat UAB on Friday night. I have a TV in my bedroom. It actually helped that the game started so late (9:50) because I'd been sleeping all day. I had no trouble staying awake, I was well rested (albeit still immobile).]

Come Saturday Shannon is feeling pretty bad, too. I took Friday off from cleaning or maintaining the house in any way, and Shannon had her hands full with the children, so the house is starting to lose its luster. Sunday comes and Shannon is feeling worse than she was on Saturday, and I'm not much better. Dishes are piling up. Laundry needs to be done. The trash needs to be taken out in the worst way. I just can't bring myself to care. Now the children are telling me that they need to eat.

And what do we have?

Nothing.

So I pack the kids up in the car and we go to the grocery. My head is pounding. I managed to keep it together for church and band practice, but I think my head will actually split open here in the grocery store. I'm trying to look at fresh produce. I'm trying to get good food. The kids want cookies. The kids want candy. The kids want donuts. The kids want Lunchables.

Hell, Lunchables aren't so bad. I can live with Lunchables, and it shuts them up. But they're on a roll and so somehow before we leave the grocery our cart manages to acquire the making of Root Beer floats. I'm not sure exactly how that happened. But we take our loot and go home for dinner.

Shannon's in bed and not interested in eating. My head hurts too bad to consider it. So I sit the children down at the table, open their Lunchables for them, and dinner is served.

I mentioned before that my children love to pray. That's actually not entirely true. The oldest two do, in fact, love to pray and will fight the other to the death for the opportunity to do so. I have thus far been unable to impress them with the irony in this. Caleb, the youngest, is only two and has thus far shown no interest in, or concept of, prayer.

Apparently the excitement of having Lunchables and Root Beer floats for dinner made Josh and Maggie forget, for a moment, their need to be the one to pray before dinner. Caleb took this opportunity and moved right in. He bowed his head, closed his eyes, folded his hands in front of him like a Precious Moments statuette, and said, "Thank you God my food." He then clapped enthusiasticly, with a devilish grin as though he had settled, once and for all, the issue of who would be praying at our dinner table.

Tom

[Update- Photo added 3/21/06.]

CDs are in!

2006-03-14T20:13:00.000-05:00

I just received the first shipment of Les Pretentious Poseur today. It looks very good, and sounds amazing. The mastering really brings out the richness in each of the tracks. I was blown away.

Also, Mrs. O'Leary's Cow (limited edition), a five song EP of tunes that will likely be on Just in Your Head [Editor's note- Track listing for Mrs. O'Leary's Cow (limited edition) is: "Mrs. O'Leary's Cow", "On the Loss of Your...", "Naked", "Stay", and "Brand New Day".] shipped from the printer in California yesterday and should arrive by the end of the week.

They are both available for sale here. The online prices are $10 (plus shipping, unless you come pick it up from me) for Les Pretentious Poseur, and $5 (plus shipping unless... well, you already know) for Mrs. O'Leary's Cow (limited edition). As Mrs. O'Leary's Cow (limited edition) is an EP consisting mostly of songs that will be released this Summer (here's hoping) in some other form and is labeled, in fact, as a limited edition there will only be one small printing of it. After it is sold out, it is gone forever.

Also, there are some stores in the Louisville area that have expressed interest in carrying these CDs. The retail price points for them will most likely be $11.99 for Les Pretentious Poseur and $6.99 for Mrs. O'Leary's Cow (limited edition). I will provide more information about this as some deals are finalized. They will not be available for sale in any Lexington area stores, only through me (if you know me or see me live) and the website order form.

Also, look for The Silent Screen to begin gigging in the Lexington, Louisville, and Cincinnati areas in the coming months. My CDs as well as (hopefully) some of The Silent Screen's merchandise will be available at upcoming gigs. Again, stay tuned for more details. I will provide them when I have them.

One last note for all of my International Myspace friends: I am looking into international shipping costs and should soon be able to ship to you for a (God and UPS, etc. willing) reasonable price. Thank you for your continued interest and patience.

Tom

[Editor's note- Now how's that for the most unnecessary hyperlinks per word in a single post?]

All hail Princess Pinky!

2006-03-07T12:58:00.000-05:00

[Editor's note- This post is a shameless plug for my beautiful, beloved bride's blog. (How I do love alliteration!)]

If you're looking for something to do other than join the fray in this fight at Habakkuk's Watchpost, check out Princess Pinky's new post. It is a deep and insightful post entitled "More Questions Than Answers". In this post, Princess Pinky eschews her usual fluff about shoe shopping for something wonderfully personal, which Chris referred to as an "ode to theological parenting". I highly recommend it.

[Editor's note (again)- For those who prefer it, I have it on good authority that Princess Pinky will return to her fluff, post haste.]

Tom

In case you just can't get enough Tom in your life...

2006-03-06T11:15:00.000-05:00

I have changed the songs I have posted on my Myspace profile to better represent Les Pretentious Poseur. I now have three tracks ("Seeking", "Cacophonous Wanking", and "Obligatory Happy Ending") from that album plus one track ("On the Loss of Your...") from Just in Your Head posted there. Check it out. Just click on the above picture, or any of the approximately fifty links pasted all over this page.

Also, in the name of gluttony, I have made it easier to listen to more of my music online. To go along with the music posted at my website and on my Myspace profile, I have now posted RealAudio files as Sonic Samplings on the sidebar of this blog.

There are nine songs posted on the sidebar, which are as follows:

Mrs. O'Leary's Cow
Stay
Confidence
The Potter's Tree
When You Cry
Crumb Cake Castles
Mend
Naked
Delayed

RealPlayer is required to play these tracks. I hope you enjoy them.

Tom

Last one, I promise...

2006-03-03T19:47:00.000-05:00

Take the quiz:
Are you a Jedi or Sith?

Anakin Skywalker - Jedi Guardian/Sith
Clouded your future is! The outcome of your training is not yet known. For now it looks like your path leads to both the light and dark sides of the Force. Masterful with a lightsaber, and well knowledgeable in the force. Hatred runs deep throughout your body. Yet your feelings towards others are very strong, full of love.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

This quiz is just a bit out-dated, but you know I had to post it. I know I've been a bit absent of late. I'll try to have an actual, bonefide, personal post soon.

While we're on the subject of Jedi, two things:

1). Tom's ranking of the Star Wars movies from best to worst: V, III, IV, VI, I, II. Agree? Disagree? Am I way off base? Leave your rankings in the comments section.

2). Chappy, I need Episode III back in the worst way.

Again, I'll try to write something a little more worthwhile soon.

Tom

[Editor's note- Saying "worst" about a Star Wars movie does not imply that I dislike it in any way. I like all of them very much (I have seen each at least 20 times- which is not entirely my fault, I am the father of a Jedi Knight, after all). It's just, when ranking things, something has to take up the rear.]

Because I had nothing better to do...

2006-03-02T13:42:00.000-05:00

I am 12% White Trash.

I, my friend, have class. I am so not white trash. . I am more than likely Democrat, and my place is neat, and there is a good chance I may never drink wine from a box.

Take the
White Trash Test
@ FualiDotCom

I am 42% Grunge.

What's this? The longest I've been without a shower is three days? Not even close, man. I should go sit out in the rain for a week.

Take the
Grunge Test
@ FualiDotCom

You Are a Little Scary

You've got a nice edge to you. Use it.

How Scary Are You?

I guess that's all I have to say for myself right now.

Tom

Happy Birthday Josh!

2006-02-24T11:16:00.000-05:00

My oldest son, Josh (pictured above in my all-time favorite picture of him), turns six-years old today. It's hard to believe it's been this long.

Tom

Update: New official release date for Les Pretentious Poseur

2006-02-22T15:32:00.000-05:00

Les Pretentious Poseur (my much-anticipated-long-awaited-weird-ass-instrumental album) will be in my hands and available for sale by March 17. It has been ordered and is currently being printed and I have been given confirmation (assurances?- confirmation may be a bit too strong of a word here) that it will arrive on my doorstep no later than March 17, and possibly even earlier. I will not list it as available for sale on my other site until it is physically in my possession, but I will accept pre-orders for it at this time.

The masters sounded great when I listened to them again today, in excited anticipation of the release. I have not been more happy with any project I have ever recorded.

I will be posting more Sonic Samplings from the album on my other site in the next couple of days. Give them a listen, I think you'll like it.

Tom

Update: The Silent Screen is now on Myspace.com

2006-02-21T18:04:00.000-05:00

Click on the above picture to check out The Silent Screen on Myspace.com! We have one song posted at present (which is unfortunately still unfinished- I have just a few more guitar and vocal parts to layer into it) with many more to come soon.

By the way, the song that we do have posted is the one that I promised would be forthcoming in this post.

Enjoy!

Tom

[Editor's note- The problem with posting pictures seems to have corrected itself. I still don't know what was wrong, but it's fine now.]

New song lyrics

2006-02-15T22:33:00.000-05:00

I've written another new song for Just in Your Head. It's another one of those "breakup" songs. I promise Shannon and I are doing just fine.

This song actually came out of a conversation I was having today about a friend's divorce. It also seemed like a wonderful opportunity to drop the F-bomb in an appropriate way.

The lyrics are as follows:

Kiss
© 2006 Tom Baker

This kiss
Is more intimate
Than just a fuck
Anytime you want it
Just this kiss
This lie on your lips
I taste the lie
That says you’re mine alone

I drink you in
I taste your skin… so sweet
I eat the lie, I need it
I give all I have to you
And you just give it all away

This kiss
This moment bittersweet
Defeat in victory
You’re honestly leaving…
Me with this kiss
Impassioned irony
No longer to deceive
You love and so you leave

I drink you in
I taste your skin… so bittersweet
I embrace the irony
That says I’m right, and you’re gone

I drink you in
I taste your skin… so sweet
I need the lie, I need it
I gave all I had to you
And you just gave it all away

This kiss
A moment on the lips
And a lifetime on the heart
You scarred
With this kiss

I should begin recording this tomorrow. I'll keep you posted on its progress.

Tom

Because this is cheaper than therapy...

2006-02-14T08:39:00.000-05:00

Some random thoughts:

On a guilty conscience...

I was driving home from school last night, and I noticed a police car behind me. Its lights flashed on. Instinct (and a guilty conscience) kicked in. My heart stopped, and I looked down at the speedometer to see what the ticket would be for. I was as surprised to see that I was going the speed limit as I was to see the police car go right past me to respond to something else.

Apparently I am entirely too unaccustomed to not speeding. I knew I was busted.

My daughter had this same problem the other day. No, I don't let my four-year-old daughter drive my car. So I guess it's not exactly the same problem. But she did have a problem with her guilty conscience.

Her mother called to her (rather innocuously, I thought) to come to the living room from her room where she had been playing. She came promptly, running, almost in tears, pleading: "It was an accident!"

We still haven't discovered whatever it was that she did wrong.

On the value of punctuation...

As an English major (at least for the time being- I have a great deal of difficulty maintaining a single major for long periods of time, which likely explains why I have been in college for so long without obtaining a single degree) I am often told the value of proper punctuation. One of the examples of a way in which we are instructed about the value of punctuation is the following exercise:

woman without her man is nothing

These words have no punctuation. They have, upon the introduction of punctuation, a few possible meanings.

Woman, without her man, is nothing.

and...

Woman: without her, man is nothing.

I was reminded of this exercise the other day as I passed a church who's sign read:

Do more than live love.

At the time I had been in relatively frequent discussions with a group of conservative fundamentalists who explained that liberals like me are great for focusing on the love of God, but ignore sin almost entirely. They explained that we might simply be "loving" sinners straight to hell. In light of these interactions I simply read the sign at face value and wondered how the hell anyone could do more than live love. It seemed to me that living love was exactly what Jesus taught that we should do.

However, in hindsight, perhaps what that sign really meant was this:

Do more than live. Love.

At least that's what I'd like to think the sign meant.

On a strange transitional object...

I've often heard that most children have a "transitional object". This is something dear to them, that often will remind them of their parents' love, and make them feel secure. Often these objects are blankets, and thus called "security blankets". I had a blanket that my grandmother made for me that served this purpose. My nephew had a stuffed duck. I don't recall what, if any, transitional objects Josh and Maggie (my two oldest children) had. Some children never have a transitional object, and so it is possible that neither of them did.

These objects are often clung to, especially in a new and unfamiliar environment. It is said that these objects essential provide a similar level of comfort to their possessor that having a parent with them would.

My youngest son Caleb has a transitional object. He sleeps with it. He takes it with him in his car seat. Everywhere Caleb goes, this object must be with him. If it isn't, there will be hell to pay for whoever is responsible for its absence.

This object is not a blanket. He has many blankets available to him, but he is indifferent to their presence unless he is cold.

This object is not a doll or stuffed animal. Both my wife and I have saved most of our childhood toys, especially dolls and stuffed animals. Our families have also purchased many dolls and stuffed animals for our children. We have more floating around our house than I could possibly keep track of. But Caleb is as indifferent to the dolls and stuffed animals as he is to the blankets. Unless it is one of Maggie's dolls and it would start a fight with her for him to take it.

What Caleb will not part with. For any reason. EVER. Is his lightsaber. Caleb has a toy lightsaber (several, actually- but only one that really serves as the transitional object) that we bought for him before he was born (we didn't want him to come into the family as the only one without a lightsaber). He takes it to school. He takes it to church. He takes it on trips. He takes it to bed. He watches movies holding it. It is never to be out of his sight. He quite simply will not live without it.

What a little geek I've raised. This father could not be more proud.

On Valentine's Day...

I hope you all have better plans for Valentine's Day than I do. Shannon is working until 9:30 tonight. The kids have school in the morning, so we won't put them through having a babysitter that late at night. We meant to go out last night, but we never made it. I'm not sure what happened. I got home from class, made dinner, and we watched the Olympics until 11:00. After that we went to bed. It's like we never really thought about going out.

Shannon also told me not to waste money getting her flowers or anything. I don't see how I can win this. If I get flowers I'm going against her declared preference and possibly even *gasp* wasting money. If I don't get her flowers, then I'm the un-romantic heel who didn't even bother to do anything for her for Valentine's Day.

I don't know what to do. I'm thinking about paying her a surprise visit at work with something like a single rose. That way I did something romantic, but very inexpensive.

I'll let you know how it turned out (if I survive, that is).

Tom

An ominous start to the day...

2006-02-09T10:53:00.000-05:00

Caleb wakes up at around 3:00 some mornings just wanting to be held and loved. Josh and Maggie went through the same thing at his age. I don't know if it's night terrors or what, but about once or twice a week Caleb will revert to being an inconsolable baby in the middle of the night.

On a good night, his mother or I will go into his room, talk to him, comfort him, hold him for a few minutes, and put him back in his bed. On a bad night, we'll just bring him back to our bed with us and try to go back to sleep. On these nights, Caleb never has trouble going back to sleep. We might.

Caleb likes to sprawl. He just stretches out and gets comfortable. He also, for whatever reason, really likes the headboard on our bed. He likes to touch it. He likes to press himself up against it. He likes to maintain constant contact with it and both of his parents. This means that Caleb will often, if given the chance, be found laying perpendicular to us across our faces and pillows in the middle of the night. It is for this reason that we are much more likely to get him back to sleep in his bed than ours. We've been down this road before (with Josh and Maggie) and we don't like it.

Last night Caleb was pitiful, and I was weak. I brought him to bed with me. I snuggled up with him and got him back to sleep in a relatively reasonable position. All was good.

I made, however, two crucial mistakes.

1). I didn't account for his ability to squirm in his (and our) sleep and get into his preferred position laying against the headboard.

2). I did not check the condition of his diaper or change it.

This morning I awoke to Caleb laying across my pillow, with pee all over it and him.

That's right, my pillow had been peed on.

I actually have two pillows on the bed that are mine. When I go to sleep they are stacked one on top of the other. I often have allergy issues and difficulty breathing, so propping my head up a little helps me to go to sleep. I am a fairly "active" sleeper, however, so my pillows do not often stay in the position in which I left them when I went to sleep. Due to this trait, only one of my pillows was peed on. The other fell harmlessly to the floor in the middle of the night.

The five of us (Shannon, Josh, Maggie, Caleb, and myself) are not the only living creatures in our house. We also possess a dog (Abby) and three cats (Cheddar, Colby-Jack, and Winky). Having so many living creatures in one house means that often somebody is not getting the attention they feel they deserve. This usually culminates in someone "acting out" to obtain attention. Apparently bad attention is still attention, and when attention-starved it will do nicely. When one of the children is attention starved, he or she will generally pick a fight with a sibling or get into something that they know they aren't supposed to. When one of the animals is attention starved, they often will just pee or poop on something.

This morning, one of the cats apparently was not paid enough attention. I'm not sure which one, and so I guess whoever-it-was's plan for attention failed, as I gave it none, not knowing who to give the attention (read: punishment) to. But one of the cats peed on something. And not just anything, but something extraordinarily important to me, especially in light of what happened in the middle of the night.

That's right, the damned cat peed on my other pillow.

I can tell that this is going to be the kind of day that I would be better just going back to bed and sleeping through. I'll try the whole thing again tomorrow, right?

Well I would, except what would I use for a pillow?

Tom

[Editor's note- In case you're wondering why the last few posts have not had pictures, it is not because I have given up on trying to make my blog a gluttony of unnecessary images. I've tried. I'm just having trouble uploading images to blogger right now. I don't know what's wrong. If anybody else is having this problem, let me know.]

What a long strange week it's been

2006-02-09T09:19:00.000-05:00

[Editor's note- This is the story I promised yesterday.]

Sometimes I wonder if, for fear of making the "wrong" decision, I will refrain from making the "right" one. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm not a little too calculated, a little too cautious.

I see this in my son, Josh. When Josh plays on the playground, and this is particularly true of when he was younger, he can do a lot of things. But he does not do them with the reckless, playful abandon of other kids. He never just throws himself into a situation. He analyzes it. He calculates it. He enters into it delicately, making sure he can accomplish that which he intends to do, with only the most minimal amount of pain and chance of failure.

His brother and sister do not share this trait. They jump right into whatever the situation, irregardless (perhaps unaware?) of the potential consequences. They have therefore been found far more frequently in the Emergency Room for assorted injuries. Josh is far too cautious and calculated for that.

He learned to walk the same way. He plays sports the same way. It's like you can watch him going through the progression of responsibilities the shortstop has in certain scenarios, rather than just fielding the ball and throwing it where it needs to go. He is very intelligent, and I love his analytical mind. He always asks questions, and not nonsense ones. He wants to understand how everything works. He takes things apart. He observes everything. You can just watch him learning. Whatever it is the he is ostensibly doing, he is always learning. And calculating risks.

This is something that I both admire and encourage. It is also something that I identify with. Whether genetically determined or environmentally learned (or most likely a great deal of both) Josh's inquisitive yet calculated nature came from me. Josh will not do anything that he does not understand, and neither will I. There are a great deal of things that I understand and a m quite comfortable with. I'd like to think that I am extraordinarily intelligent, and analytical enough to figure most things out if given enough time. But that which I am not familiar with presents me with an almost neurotic inability to comfortably make a decision about. There are simply too many "what ifs", and too much of a sense of lack of control. I just can't get comfortable with whatever it is that I do not understand.

I do not understand the A&R business.

I bring this up because I have been in discussions with an A&R company from Los Angeles about my music all week. They contacted me based on my Myspace postings. Apparently they liked what I had posted and were interested in trying to place it in some movies and TV shows (that's what they specialize in, apparently).

That was very flattering. What I really liked was that they spoke of my music in such a way that they had to have listened to it. It wasn't like they were just contacting someone at random. They knew my songs. And apparently really liked them. Now they would like for me to send them a CD with more songs of mine. And all they need from me was a $200 fee up front for a three month membership that entitles me to their representation.

What?

That's a big red flag right there. I have always been told to be leery of people that want your money up front. So I discuss further the nature of this company's business with them, what they do, how they do it, why they do it that way, etc. It is a very informative and entertaining discussion. They have answers to all of my questions. They are very good at what they do, and are beginning to make me feel pretty good about their offer. But that red flag is still waving in the back of my mind. They don't make any kind of commission off of the placement of my song into whatever they're shopping it to. The only money they make is off of the fee that I pay them up front. This is just not working for me. So I ask them some more about it.

They answer that they don't make any money until I renew my membership and so they need to place my material somewhere to make money. I say I don't know about that and need more time to check them out more thoroughly. They say that's fine. They also inform me that they have a project that they think would be perfect for me lined up, but the window for that will close, so I need to make a decision very soon.

What?

Hello red flag number two and a big deal breaker.

I don't know a lot about how this business works, but this sounds too much like a high pressure sales pitch to me. I express my discomfort, so they inform me that the listing they have in mind pays $500, so my $200 investment is really a quite sound one, even if they can't place my music anywhere else, although they're sure that as good as it is they'll be able to find even more placements for it.

Now I've got something else to think about. They make $200 to possibly make me $500. The math on that works out to their making what would essentially be a 40% commission if they can successfully place my music, although they make the money whether they place it or not. It just doesn't seem like a good deal to me, so I politely turn them down.

No hard feelings, they say. Give us a call if you change your mind. Good-bye.

Now I'm left to ponder my decision.

I am convinced that I made the right decision. I don't know if they are really a "legit" business or not. There were red flags waving all over the place in my mind. I don't understand the way this business typically works, or really how this particular company works. And I really don't want to get burned. It was the smart move.

But I liked the idea of my songs making it into a movie. I liked it a lot. And my favorite kind of song in a movie is the rainy-day-I've-just-lost-the-love-of-my-life-and-now-I'm-sitting-on-a-train-alone-pondering-how-it-all-went-wrong kind of song. So I wrote one.

[Editor's note- That song is "Stay", which is available here for download.]

So now, if nothing else, I have a song that would be perfect for a movie that I may never go out on a limb enough to get it in.

Now that's inspiration.

Tom

New song alert!

2006-02-08T21:01:00.000-05:00

I have just posted a new song, titled "Stay" to my Myspace site as well as to the Sonic Samplings section on my other site. I will have more about the inspiration behind the song tomorrow. I wrote it two days ago and began recording it yesterday. I think it is just amazing how quickly thinks can get churned out now. Two days ago it was nothing, and now you can download it from Myspace. I just can't get over how cool that is.

A little about the recording. I played almost all of the instruments. The acoustic guitar is Dad's Taylor W15 (walnut jumbo). The electric is my Telecaster (with E Bow for the lead). The sound is unaffected into my Peavey Classic, with the amp slightly overdriven. The E Bowed lead part has just a little bit of delay added to it.

The bass is my P Bass recorded direct with just a little compression added.

The percussion (also performed by me- too little time to get a real drummer) is a shaker (actually a small container of sprinkles from my Mom's kitchen, I couldn't find a shaker at the time), a ride cymbal, a snare drum, and a conga.

The harmonica on it was played by my brother, Jason. It's some variety of Hohner (he has so many, I'm not sure which kind it is, possibly a Blues Harp).

I have listed the song as being from Just in Your Head on the websites, despite the fact that it is not on my current track listing for it. I thought I was finished with the writing process for that project, and then this song popped up. Again, I promise I'll write more about this tomorrow, it's a pretty good story (although I may be building it up too much at this point).

I hope you enjoy it. Let me know what you think.

Tom

This is just all kinds of wrong...

2006-02-02T14:05:00.000-05:00

The sad truth

Does anyone else feel as duped and cheated as I do? I believed that story. I trusted those who perpetuated the lie about the horse not being violated in such a cruel way. I feel kind of silly. I mean, I actually felt bad that the animal was tortured with peanut butter being perpetually stuck to the roof of his mouth.

I does suck to have peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth, but not that bad. PETA should have come about a generation or so earlier. Thank God for CGI, now enough with this randomness.

This cartoon was taken from Penny Arcade. I hope you have enjoyed it.

Tom

A new addition to the Woebegotten Wonderland family

2006-02-01T19:54:00.000-05:00

I have never really been a fan of myspace.com blog sites. In my ever so humble opinion, all blog sites other than Blogger suck by comparison. But myspace.com is very popular with musicians. It seems to be the biggest way to share music at this point.

I have my other site set up to play music, but I am not that satisfied with the results. For some reason it will only accept RealAudio files for uploading and not mp3s. This has caused some problems (albeit minor ones) for people who might want to listen to and/or download my music. I also don't care much for the format. It is for this reason that I have decided to take the plunge and create my own myspace.com account, which is accessible at http://www.myspace.com/woebegottenwonderland.

It is quite the work in progress. I have not really seen any myspace sites that I like the look of, and mine is, at present, no exception. But it has my music posted on it in a manner in which I like. That has to be worth something, right?

Tom

You like me! You really like me!

2006-02-01T10:14:00.000-05:00

Because (as I have mentioned earlier) I am a shameless braggart, I had to pass this on:

I have just received a prestigious (in a totally imaginary way) award for my clever commenting. The people at Habakkuk's Watchpost (at least Tyler, anyway) have presented me with First Prize (in a tie) for best comment in the month of January.

It's good to be appreciated for the sarcastic, condescending asshole that I am.

I promised Chris that I wouldn't let this go to my head. Oops!

Tom

New Silent Screen song lyrics

2006-01-27T21:17:00.000-05:00

My "precious" inspiration.

After my previous post exposing my knowledge of Veggie Tales songs and my willingness to play them for cute little children, I had to do something to get my rock and roll mystique/mojo back. What better way to do that then to write a stalker song?

Chris and I were having a discussion the other day about attachment, and "my precious" was mentioned a fair amount. Around that same time I was working with Scot on developing a song from a loop that I was working on prior to band practice. We recorded the loop and I put it on a CD and played it in my car for a few days. After the "my precious" discussion, these words just kind of came out of me while driving around singing along to the loop. I pulled the car over and wrote them down.

[Editor's note- The speaker in the song is not in any way intended to be Gollum. He merely, like Gollum, has a great deal of trouble keeping a healthy perspective about the object of his infatuation.]

The One That Got Away
© 2006 by Tom Baker

I want you back...

Diseased as I am
I need to worship at your feet
Diseased as I am
Your fragrance brings me to my knees
To fill my basic needs
I could have anything
You are my everything
I only want the one that got away

I want you back...

Diseased as I am
I grovel at your feet again
Diseased as I am
I beg and bathe your silky skin
I drink you in
I breathe you in
You are my everything
I only want the one that got away

I want you back...

Diseased as I am
I fall prostrate to the floor
Diseased as I am
You leave me only wanting more
Needing more
Pleading... "more"
You are my everything
I only want the one that got away

I want you back...

We plan to finish recording this song in the next week. I'll post it to my other site when it's done.

Tom

"Maggie's Dad" vs. Allan Holdsworth: May the best parent of a pre-schooler win

2006-01-27T15:07:00.000-05:00

Do you know who this man is?

I have recently emerged from behind the shelter of my "I-don't-really-play-all-that-many-solo-gigs-anymore" shell to perform what is becoming something of an annual event.

Yes, I've played for pre-schoolers again. How bad-ass-rocker is that?

It seems now that every year one of my children (or perhaps their mother) lets slip that not only does their father (or husband, depending upon who it is that actually squealed) play guitar in a band and lead worship at a church (it is a Baptist pre-school, after all) but he also has an extensive catalog of Veggie Tales songs at his disposal with which he is proned to entertain his children for hours (well... minutes actually, they are quite young and short of attention span; and let's face it, I'm not all that captivating) on end. So weeks of discussions about schedules and whatnot led to my epic three song set at Porter Memorial Pre-school today.

As far as gigs (at least the ones that I am likely to get with my apathetic self promotion abilities) go this one was not so bad. The children can't tell the difference between me and any other guitarist, so it could have very well been Allan Holdsworth who came to their school for all they cared. Actually, they probably thought I was cooler than Allan Holdsworth, because I was "Maggie's Dad", which apparently carries with it a great deal of inherent credibility.

[Editor's note- It is herein acknowledged with much regret that no school aged children, whatever their grade, are unlikely to consider Allan Holdsworth as anything other than "some old guy". However, to the writer Allan Holdsworth is regarded quite reverently as being perhaps the absolute coolest being to have ever walked the planet and one of the most amazing and influential instrumentalists of all time. It is for this reason that Allan Holdsworth is mentioned above in the manner in which he is. If you are unfamiliar with his work, do not let me find out about it. That would subject you no more hours than you would likely prefer to spend listening to a master guitarist incomparably perform his craft. Ask my wife. She'll tell you.]

The pre-school gig is far better than some of the other gigs I've played in recent years, ranging from the "solo-acoustic-coffee-shop-gig-for-tips-only-yielding-roughly-seventy-five-cents-in-nickels-as-payment-after-playing-unaccompanied-and-without-a-break-for-the-last-three-hours" gig, to the "it's-for-a-good-cause-so-why-not-play-an-hour-and-a-half-set-outdoors-in-thirty-degree-weather-while-ill-to-the-point-that-singing-is-a-great-yet-totally-unintelligible-adventure-and-oh-yeah-did-I-mention-the-next-band-no-showed-because-of-the-weather-so-could-you-possibly-play-for-another-hour-you're-such-a-good-sport" gig, to my all time favorite gig as the opening act for Karaoke Night at a Louisville pub. [Editor's note- This in no way indicates that I either engaged in the performance of or endorse in any way the engagement in karaoke. My band was merely booked to play at the pub on the same night of and to play immediately before Karaoke Night. We were the "warm up" act. The clientelle of the bar engaged in that unfortunate practice. We did not.] That was my brother's last gig as my booking agent. He would argue that it was a success because we did actually get paid. I've never in my life needed money that bad (well... apparently that isn't completely true; we did play the gig, after all).

The point (insomuch as there is a point, I guess) is that as the years have passed, I have found myself not needing to prove myself by gigging all of the time just for gigging's sake. I now do it rarely, and for fun. I can not imagine much more fun than playing for a group of my daughter's friends who honestly could not tell the difference between me and a rock star. They honestly would not have been more impressed if (let's pick somebody who's actually a "star" this time, instead of one of my idols) John Mayer came to play for their class. It doesn't get much more "rock star" to a group of four-year-olds than knowing how to play Veggie Tales songs. And they're one demographic I don't mind playing to.

Tom

Another example of why we should be against the death penalty

2006-01-23T15:48:00.000-05:00

This Florida man was exonerated and released today after spending more than 24 years in prison for a crime he did not commit. Alan Crotzer has been freed well short of the end of his 130-year sentence for armed robbery and rape. DNA evidence acquired with the help of The Innocence Project was used to free him.

What does this have to do with the death penalty?

It would be very difficult to free Mr. Crotzer if he were already dead. Cases like this point out that our Justice system is not perfect. Per my previous post I have already indicated that the death penalty is barbaric even when used "appropriately" to kill those who are actually guilty. But for 24 years Alan Crotzer was "guilty". We now know that his conviction was a tragic mistake. Tragic in that Mr. Crotzer has spent the majority of his life (he is 45-years old) behind bars for a crime that he did not commit. And also tragic in that an actual guilty party (there were three- the brothers Douglass and Corlenzo James, who were convicted at the same time as Alan Crotzer and are currently in prison, as well as their accomplice, who was until now believed to be Alan Crotzer despite the James brothers' insistence of Mr. Crotzer's innocence) has evaded capture, prolonging the victims' and their families' agony.

This is not just some feel-good story of redemption in which a wrong has been righted and the innocent set free. How do you give a man his life back? There may be some monetary award handed down to Mr. Crotzer. But would you take a sum of money (any some of money) to be imprisoned for twenty-four years, not knowing if you would ever be free again? Would anyone desire to be a suddenly and unexpectedly independent 45-year old man who has never had a job and who has little or no life skills? What monetary stipend would make amends for destroying one's life?

The only way this situation could have been worse (read: irreparable) is if Mr. Crotzer had been executed for his crimes. People are executed in the United States with a great deal of regularity. People are also exonerated in the United States after having been convicted and imprisoned for crimes that they can be scientifically proven to have not committed. How can we be absolutely certain all of the time that we have convicted the right person?

In some cases we can free the wrongfully incarcerated. We can never un-execute the wrongfully executed.

Tom

Random lesson of the day

2006-01-21T08:54:00.000-05:00

An unlikely source of wisdom.

Caleb and I watched Saturday morning cartoons today. I found Dora the Explorer to have a particularly profound message/moral/lesson.

[Editor's note- This post may definitively prove the danger of trying to pull life lessons from works of fiction designed for entertainment purposes.]

The message was a simple one: When you find a magician's lost wand, don't turn yourself into a potato.

I hope you have all found this invaluable.

Tom

Because I'm the kind of Tom that just won't let some things go...

2006-01-18T08:08:00.000-05:00

Is Opus a penguin or a puffin? You decide.

This is for you, Chappy (you too, Scot). The Silent Screen has been having a "discussion" about whether Opus is a penguin on a puffin. Chappy and Scot say penguin. I obviously say puffin (or this would be a non-issue... well maybe it already is). Billy and the Boingers Bootleg has been mentioned more than once. Here is a transcription of the Bloom County comic in Billy and the Boingers Bootleg that shows Binkley letting Opus know that he is, in fact, a puffin.

Tom

Death and life issues

2006-01-17T13:40:00.000-05:00

With the recent execution of an elderly man in California and the recent ruling in Massachusetts allowing the removal of life support for a badly beaten eleven-year-old girl (not to mention a recent death in my brother's family as well as one in a very good friend's family) I have been thinking a lot lately about death and life. I guess I'm at a point where I'm just a little confused and conflicted.

I do not like absolutes. I don't like to make statements (or most especially for others to make statements) that we should absolutely be in favor of are against anything. There are so many shades of grey. Fundamentalists may feel comfortable dealing strictly in black and white, but not me. I believe that sexual morality is a complicated issue. I believe that abortion is a complicated issue. I believe that national security is a very complicated issue. I believe there are no simple answers to questions about God, theology, life, morality, or even politics. To paint anything as a straight-forward absolute anything is irresponsible in my opinion. About the only thing I am particularly dogmatic about is the dangers of dogma.

Yet I am beginning to believe that the death penalty is absolutely wrong. I hate arguments like that. I hate when somebody says that we have to draw the line somewhere (often because they are talking about such moral non-issues to me as who or more specifically who not to have sex with). But when I can't get on board with the execution of a man who was convicted for ordering killings (successful ones) while behind bars already for murder I don't think there will ever be a state sanctioned execution that I will support.

I know that Clarence Ray Allen was an elderly, wheelchair bound, blind diabetic who had recently suffered a near fatal heart attack. And I am pretty sure that would predispose me to feeling a fair amount of sympathy for his predicament and even outrage at his execution. But let's face it, this man was not the anti-death-penalty-poster-child that Tookie Williams was. Mr. Allen's pleas for clemency did not center on his reformed life, only his advanced age and health issues. And his death sentence was handed down for murders committed while already serving a life sentence. That he could find ways to have those who had testified against him killed from prison is not in any way comforting. It would beg the question from the state- well what options do we really have here, anyway?

Yet I can't get on board with this execution. I don't think it has as much to do with his advanced age and health issues as it does with the profound sense of "this is just wrong" I feel every time I hear about an execution. If he was younger and healthy I'm sure I would lament the loss of potential for his reform.

I grieve for the victims. I don't wish to place less of a value on their lives as the lives of those responsible for their deaths. When my great-aunt Lola was carjacked and murdered (at the age of ninety) I felt the overwhelming helplessness and senselessness of the situation. I was angry. My family was angry. Just months after celebrating a wonderful milestone in her life, we were left pondering the senselessness of her death.

It's strange to feel that a ninety-year-old woman's life was tragically cut short. Yet it was. She and her husband lived independently. She was killed while driving to the grocery after getting her hair done. No one had to take her anywhere. She was as spry and alive as anyone can be, and far more active than I would have imagined any ninety-year-old (outside of the Old Testament) could be.

To take someone's life, anyone's life, is a serious thing. I don't like the decision left in the hands of the state. That's an odd position for a liberal. I know we're all against the death penalty (per the stereotype- we're also apparently against free enterprise, national security, punishing criminals, and worshiping God), but we usually afford the government a fair amount of authority. Don't we, as a general rule, favor government regulation of businesses (especially as it pertains to environmental protection, and yes- ethics, particularly when it comes to worker and consumer protection). We may be less inclined to afford these powers to administrations like the current one that do not share our ideals, but you don't usually hear us decry the growth government and the mistrust of "big government" purely for its own sake. Conservatives may fear government as a rule, but we believe that it is a tool to be used for the good of the people. Not the problem (as Reaganites viewed it), but if not the solution, then definitely a solution (or a potential one, anyway).

So if I'm not predisposed to distrusting the government simply because it is the government, and if conservatives do distrust the government (or at least desire it to be as small and do as little as possible) then why do I not trust the government to decide matters of life and death while conservatives seem to believe that that is the governments job (along with regulating morality and sponsoring religion)?

I could offer as an answer that I don't believe that the role of the government is to kill people, but to help them. But then I'm sure that someone else would counter that the death penalty does help us. I'm sure they would also offer that torturing terrorists for bad information and killing innocent women and children at the hope of taking out terrorists along with them benefits us as well. I just don't believe that.

So here I am doing that which I detest other people doing. I'm drawing a line in the sand. This relativist liberal is embracing the tactics of the evangelical conservatives. I'm declaring absolutes. And not even on the basis of an extraordinarily well reasoned moral argument. It just doesn't feel right to me. We should not let the government kill and torture in our name. This is not the way things should be.

Tom

I know it's Friday the 13th, but W.T.F.?

2006-01-13T18:56:00.000-05:00

If you though Minnesota was weird after electing Jesse Ventura, check this out.

Tom

Blog conventions, a tainted past, and "why do we feel the need to feel persecuted?"

2006-01-13T15:14:00.000-05:00

Currently reading: Text books.
Currently listening: Chagall Guevara.

(The Holy Grail)

Anyone who knows me well or reads this site with any regularity could probably understand why I would ordinarily be loathe to resort to such blog conventions as listing here what I am reading and listening to. I detest most blogs. They seem to be written in a language other than any that I know and about the most mundane and self-agrandizing of subjects imaginable. There is nothing more off-putting to me than to read the most routine events of other people's daily routines. [Editor's note- I hope that is not what I do here.]

So why would I resort to the blog conventions of listing what I am currently reading and listening to. If you don't already know, then I will tell you. I am listening to Chagall Guevara. If you still don't know I am not sure that I can help you out, but I'll try.

Chagall Guevara is a band that was started by Steve Taylor after his 80's goofy-satire-filled-Christian-music-hit-making career phase. They recorded one album in 1991, which was not promoted and sold extraordinarily poorly. They were dropped from their label and have never really resurfaced (one reunion show does not a resurfacing make). After being out of print for 15 years now, there are very few copies left, yet it has become something of a cult classic. The last decent (read: "new") copy I saw of Chagall Guevara sold online for somewhere around $100. That's a lot of money for a CD, but I would have spent it for that one. The problem is that somebody beat me to it, and I haven't found another viable copy since. The demand is, unfortunately, far greater than the supply.

So why did I feel the need to embrace blog convention and post what I'm currently listening to?

Because most people don't have the opportunity to listen to Chagall Guevara. But I now have that opportunity (through means that I do not wish to discuss here), and I'm a shameless braggart.

That does not answer why I would list what I'm currently reading. I listed that simply because the one "currently" listing at the top of the page looked very lonely.

I mentioned in my last post my desire to use this space as personal therapy again. I plan to do so now:

In the past week or so I have encountered the following theological statements and declarations from people whom I respect, and would like to think that they know better.

1). Scientists don't believe in God.

This statement was made by a friend of mine, apparently forgetting our mutual friend who is both a devout Christian (of the conservative evangelical kind, not a liberal like me) and a chemistry research assistant (who is preparing to go to Vanderbilt to work on a PhD in some form of chemistry I don't know enough about to describe here). To state that scientist don't believe in God is an obvious misstatement and over generalization. Some scientist do not believe in God. Some obviously do. Science simply does not consider God one way or the other. It observes the natural world. It does not observe or consider the supernatural world. Too often we recklessly believe that science attempts to write out God or prove His non-existence. That is no more the job for science than molecular biology is the job for the church.

2). "The world" wants Christians to conform to it. "The world" will not tolerate that which will not conform.

This seems asinine to me on several levels, and is yet assumed to be a "true" statement by most people I encounter through the church. First of all, what do they mean by "the world". To me that is as strange a concept as "the church". There is no unified "world" to conform to any more than there is a unified church. There are not just two groups. The world in which we live is vast, diverse, and complex. The small corner of the world in which I reside contains more religious and ethnic diversity than I can keep track of. I have not encountered any pressure from anyone, let alone a collection of unified people to become more like them.

In the United States, and specifically in this region (the Bible belt) Christians constitute an overwhelming majority of the population. We occupy most political posts. We own most businesses. Our culture is almost entirely Christianity-driven. (You will note that I don't say "Christ-driven" here. There is a big difference between the two.) If anyone is pressuring for conformity, it is us Christians. Where I am, at least (as well as the person who made the above statements), we are the closest thing there is to a "The World".

I used to cling tight to these aforementioned assumptions and ideas, as well. I used to believe that as a "Christian" I was subject to all kinds of persecution. In high school, a group of friends and I adopted a song called "You Can't Break Me" by a band called Precious Death as something of a mantra. The song is something of an anthem about enduring (and even prevailing over) "the world's" persecution of us Christians. Some of the words (as best I can remember them) are as follows:

If everything is relative and nothing absolute
Then why don't I just take this gun and blow your head off
But if some things are always wrong
Then something must be right

Tolerance, tolerance
But you won't tolerate me
So you stereotype and change the wrong into right
The truth's too hard and too true
For me to give it to you
You can hate me but you can't break me.

I believed that I was a subject of hate and ridicule by those who did not understand or subscribe to my faith, when in fact I was a very hateful and condescending person. When I was 18, a co-worker of mine who had a son just a few years older than me came to me about a source of stress and anxiety to her. Her son was going through a painful divorce. She told me that when he was about my age he got his girlfriend pregnant. They decided to keep the baby and get married. As is the case with most young couples, they really didn't totally understand what they were getting into. Things did not work out according to plans, and the wife now wanted out of the marriage.

This was a point in my life in which I felt "called" to ministry. I advertised this proudly most places I went. In the college public speaking class I was taking at the time, instead of sticking closely to selected topics, I almost always steered my presentations into mini-sermons. There was rarely a time that I wasn't witnessing or sermonizing to people. So what "pastoral" help did I have for this woman? I simply told her that her son should not have gotten his girlfriend pregnant.

About a year and a half later I got my own girlfriend pregnant and got to find out exactly how pastorally helpful people like me could be. I was kicked out of my "Christian" band (the second member of that band in two years to be given the boot for engaging in premarital sex). I became estranged from most of my friends at the time, and got to find out exactly how easy it isn't to be a husband and a father. Newlyweds have a hard enough time adjusting to sharing their lives with other people. Four months after I began sharing my life with my wife, we had another person to share our lives with in our cramped first apartment. Looking back I often wonder how we endured those early years.

That time shaped me. It molded me. It confronted me with my own arrogance and hypocrisy.

I never endured any hardships for my faith. In a country in which an overwhelming majority claim to believe in God, it is very difficult to be persecuted for that belief. In a region of that country where an overwhelming majority go to church, it is very difficult to be persecuted for that practice.

So I wonder, and I may never get a satisfactory answer to this question:

"Why do we feel the need to feel persecuted?"

Tom

Brief update... more to come later

2006-01-10T08:15:00.000-05:00

I'm in the process of doing everything I've been meaning to do with the last few remnants of my freedom right now. That's right... I start back to school tomorrow.

I've enjoyed my freedom. Perhaps I've enjoyed it a little too much. There was a list of things that I was going to accomplish. It wasn't anything too ambitious, just a few things around the house, a few things to improve the studio, the rewiring and significant badassifying of two guitars, and the resumption of providing some actual original content on my blog.

I've enjoyed posting comics and other people's articles and stuff through the Christmas season. I've really enjoyed being able to update my Woebegotten Wonderland (Chris says it doesn't suck anymore- I'm not sure that if it ever sucked it doesn't still suck, but I'll take the compliment (?) graciously) and being able to provide updates about The Silent Screen. But this site is my therapy. This site is my refuge. This site is where I go to get stuff off my chest. When people or their theological/political/ideological/biological/neurological/you-get-the-picture-ological ideas piss me off, you get to read about it here first.

Other sites may provide more in depth analysis of scripture and theology in today's churches. Other sites may be more politically in touch with what's going on. Other sites may (quite frankly) just be a lot more informative, interesting, and entertaining (read: "better") than mine. But this site is mine. Its all I have. And I need it. And I've missed it.

So there may be less pictures posted here in the near future. There will certainly be less comics posted here. There will still be the regular updates about what's going on in my little Woebegotten Wonderland. (By the way, I've been posting new music on my other site a little more regularly than originally planned. There are still only two Sonic Samplings posted at a time, but instead of updating them weekly, I've been updating them almost every day. I guess I can't help tinkering.) But there will most definitely be the resumption of my regular little therapy sessions. Especially the spouting of my liberal-esque theological ideas about how the church should treat people. I have no authority, but I have a voice. And I plan to use it. Later today (or tomorrow... or the next day... or whenever).

Until then I leave you the promise of more to come.

Tom

And I thought we were ugly!

2006-01-06T16:04:00.000-05:00

I know I claimed earlier that we were "handsome guys", but I was being facetious. The Silent Screen is not comprised of the most attractive musicians in the world.

Nice guys? Yes.

Good musicians? Absolutely!

Hunky heart-throbs? Not on your life!

But I must say I am astounded at how good we look compared to the bands I saw on this site. The band pictured above was my favorite. It's like they're just a bunch of dorks and really don't care who knows it. You have to respect that... don't you?

Also another Woebegotten Wonderland update: My other website now has RealAudio songs available for you listening enjoyment. I plan to feature two songs per week there, one instrumental and one vocal. The catch? The program I am using will only post RealAudio files (not mp3s) so you may have to have RealPlayer to listen. The version of RealPlayer I have was free and works just fine. If you don't have RealPlayer I highly recommend it, if only to hear my music. *grin*

Tom

The Woebegotten Wonderland: an update!

2006-01-04T16:05:00.000-05:00

After entirely too long I have finally updated my other site. Check it out (if you dare)! It is still not everything I would like it to be (unlike this beautifully crafted site) but it is much easier to navigate now. Hopefully it is also easier to make purchases from, too.

*Laughs at how naïve and optimistic the idea of people actually purchasing music from this site truly is before deciding that ignorance is bliss, thereby ignoring previously poor (anemic) sales in favor of wild optimism*

Enjoy!

Tom

Sorry it's taken so long to post... Enjoy these photos of The Silent Screen as a form of apology

2006-01-03T15:43:00.000-05:00

Check out these handsome guys!

Here are some photos taken of The Silent Screen this past week. More will be posted to our website soon.

Recording for the new album (as of yet untitled) should start towards the end of this month. The studio is undergoing some renovation and will be unavailable until all of that is finished. The material is progressing better than I could possibly express. I could not be more proud of what we are doing. When they become available I will begin posting some tracks online. More details about that later.

Les Pretentious Poseur (my upcoming instrumental album) is finished and will be released next month. I am very pleased with the current mixes and plan to tinker with them no longer. It will be available to purchase at my other site as well as possibly on The Silent Screen's site. I will post some mp3s from that album soon. I have a lot of stuff on my plate right now, but they should be posted prior to the actual album release.

Production on Just in Your Head (my upcoming and long-delayed vocal album) should be resumed after the completion of The Silent Screen's album. I don't think that I can do both at the same time and preserve my tenuous grip on sanity. I'll keep you posted as work progresses.

I hope you all had a great New Year!

Tom

Check out my stick figure family!

2005-12-25T20:14:00.000-05:00

I received this picture from my sister-in-law, Sami Baker, for Christmas this year. I think it is surreal how well she captured not just the essence, but also the appearance of each member of my family (Caleb and myself, especially).

From the left there is Caleb (the aspiring Jedi Knight with Wild-Man hair), Maggie (my little pink princess), Shannon (my wife, who's main interests are photography and shoe shopping - note the gold shoe in the hand her figure is waving), me (complete in my all-too-hairiness, with a very good likeness of my main guitar, a customized Parker Nitefly), and Josh (my baseball playing oldest boy).

The house is a good likeness as well, down to the white door that still needs to be painted and the shutters that fell off in a recent (well... not that recent anymore, I guess I'd better get that fixed) storm. You will also note that the lawn appears to need mowing, too. I think she may have captured us a little too accurately.

Anyway, Sami has been producing this stylized form of art for as long as I have known her. I think she's very good. She's been doing some greeting cards and special event things, as well as customized drawings like this one. She has some of her stuff for sale in a bookstore (I believe) in Louisville, KY (more info coming as I know it) and I think she is going to have some things available soon over the internet. I'll let you know when I do.

I hope all of you have had as merry a Christmas as I have.

Tom

Merry Christmas, but why did you come here... really?

2005-12-25T08:05:00.000-05:00

Although I do not consider myself a poet (I have in fact not attempted the writing of any poetry in easily a decade... until now) I humbly offer this poem to you for Christmas. Please don't return it like so many other gifts given during this season. Besides, you couldn't get much in exchange for it, anyway.

A Poem for Christmas
by Tom Baker (c) 2005

I could be skeptical or sentimental,
I could be cynical or sincere,
That would not change who you are.

I could claim a monopoly on your audience,
I could claim I alone understand your ways,
That would not change who you are.

I could be damning or forgiving,
I could be accepting or pitiless and cruel,
That would not change who you are.

I could mock you, I could berate you,
I could become irate at the mention of you,
I could fictionalize you, I could trivialize you,
I could question every aspect of you,
That would not change who you are.

But who are you?
Those who follow you
(And those who don't, too)
Don't always seem to have a clue,
We enjoy our hypocrisies,
We often fall on bended knees,
And exclaim "O Savior please,
"Save me from myself!"
Then go and condemn someone else.

Did you come here just for me,
And those with whom I agree?
Can it be that the "right" theology,
Is a prerequisite for salvation?

Is it true, I just call your name,
And though my life will stay the same,
I get my ticket to the Pearly Gates,
While the rest go straight to hell?

Whatever I do, whoever I am,
My fate rests soley in your hands,
There's no magic incantation
For salvation.

But just because I say it's so,
Doesn't make it true,
My words have no authority,
To govern what you do.

So why did you come here... really,
To save a wretch like me?
You came to Earth to show the way,
(I know that this sounds so clichéd)
And die upon a tree?

And for whom did you die,
And for whom did you live?
For surely your value does not lie soley in
The expiration of your human form.
Is that all we got out of your life?
Human sacrifice?
Divine sacrifice?
Did you live and die
Only to placate yourself?
Or did you come for something else?

I'd like to tie this up neatly,
Like the wrapping for the presents
That we go into debt for every year,
In honor of your time spent here,
In the flesh, as a baby,
As a boy, as a man,
Living out your life in accordance to God's plan,
But I can't.

Because if I say you came here,
To show us how to live and love,
It doesn't mean that you did.

Maybe you really want us to keep fighting,
To keep oppressing in your name,
To be hate-mongers and joy killers,
To call every one out on the carpet,
For what they do that we disapprove,
To tell everyone what not to do,
To say that we're the only ones,
Who really know how to follow you,
And if anyone falls out of line,
With our dogmatic views of you,
We'll tell them that you want to see them burn.

But that seems so unlike a God,
Who would abdicate heaven
(If only temporarily)
And become a helpless baby,
Just to show the objects of his love,
Exactly what love is,
Which is what I believe you did.
Just over two-thousand years ago
Today.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Hughes

2005-12-24T00:02:00.000-05:00

Howard Hughes was born on Christmas Eve in 1905. Today would have been his 100th Birthday.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Hughes.

Happy Birthday to the man who has unfortunately been remembered (even here) more for his personal shortcomings and failures than for all of his accomplishments.

Happy Birthday to the man who gave hundreds of thousands of dollars to Richard Nixon (ironically culminating in the Watergate scandal and Nixon's demise) in exchange only for the promise of a personal phone call from the then President on Christmas eve (Mr. Hughes Birthday). A call that sadly never took place.

Happy Birthday to the man who's life was marked by irony and contradiction such that he was the richest man in the world, and yet he starved to death, neglected and abused and in the physical condition of a derelict.

[Editor's note- Some historians believe that Mr. Hughes was actually murdered. For this they site that at the time of his death Mr. Hughes' blood contained more codeine than thought to be survivable. The prevailing conspiracy theory here is that his aides killed Mr. Hughes to attempt to hide their abuse and neglect of him in his final months by silencing the only witness (Mr. Hughes) to their abuse that was not actively involved in the infliction of the abuse. Whatever the case may be, it is widely believed that Mr. Hughes death at that time was almost certainly avoidable if he had been given proper medical care.]

Happy Birthday to the man who's romantic conquests were so legendary, yet he never mastered the art of maintaining healthy, functional interpersonal relationships. He eventually sabotaged every relationship with anyone he ever truly loved.

Happy Birthday to the man who's brilliance and fearlessness led to major innovations in flight and motion pictures, as well as the development of Las Vegas as we know it. Yet he was privately insecure and emotionally crippled, leading to his becoming arguably the world's most famous recluse.

Happy Birthday to a man who on the surface had everything that any of us could ever want, and at the end of his life stated that if anyone were to trade lives with him, they would wish to trade back by the end of the week.

Happy Birthday to Howard Hughes, a man born about a generation too early. Ironically the "madness" that plagued his life was apparently a (currently) very treatable case of obsessive compulsive disorder, as well as a case of syphilis contracted prior to the development of antibiotics.

Happy Birthday to a man that may never have been truly happy.

[Editor's note- For a good (and relatively quick) read about the life and death of Howard Hughes, check out this book. I enjoyed it immensely]

It is my wish here that all of you reading this now are in fact quite happy. It's Christmas Eve! I don't know about the rest of you, but I plan to spend all night assembling toys (hopefully correctly, this year) for my children to attribute to the work of Santa and elves and other such magic.

Merry Christmas!

Tom

Stuck?

2005-12-23T11:51:00.000-05:00

Does this mean we're getting out sooner or staying longer?

Whether or not it is actually true, the perception (granted, this is coming from someone who has never been to Iraq) here appears to be that we can no longer accomplish any good in Iraq. If our objective was to help build a government that has the trust and confidence of its people, I'm not sure how we can succeed anymore. If people don't have confidence in their elections, they don't have confidence in their government. And no matter how long we stay, I'm not sure that (given our damaged reputation) we can provide that confidence.

If it were up to me, I would start planning to withdraw our troops now. We broke it. We tried to buy it. It is not for sale.

Tom

[Editor's note- The answer to my question just might (or might not) be found here.]

Did they get sick of it?

2005-12-23T00:07:00.000-05:00

If this really happens will they still get to sing the catchy song depicted above at White House Christmas parties?

Tom

Well... it could have been worse

2005-12-22T20:57:00.000-05:00

Congress only extended the Patriot Act for one month. Click here to find out more. I'm still not comfortable checking out books from the public library. And I'm pretty sure I'm going to regret using my real name in this blog. But it could have been a lot worse. Merry Christmas, I guess.

Tom

Christmas Ninjas?

2005-12-21T16:29:00.000-05:00

This may be the most random comic I have ever seen. If anyone has come across anything more random and in a general Christmas-esque motif I would really like to see it.

Tom

[Editor's note- Anyone who remembers when I became the self-described "King of Fazoli's" knows why I had to post this comic. How could the man who set the world's-land-speed-breadstick-eating-record could not pass on to you a comic about ninjas who give out free breadsticks?]

It's a Wonderful Dork

2005-12-21T16:03:00.000-05:00

Here's a recent running story line from Dork Tower that I found particularly amusing, as It's a Wonderful Life happens to be one of Shannon's favorite movies. Enjoy!

Tom

I know this is a little low brow, butt... (pun definitely intended)

2005-12-21T07:17:00.000-05:00

New Silent Screen logo

2005-12-21T07:01:00.000-05:00

Here's an idea for a new logo for The Silent Screen that Scot just e-mailed me. What do you think about it? Thanks to Bunny for the design.

Tom

War on Christmas?

2005-12-20T11:44:00.000-05:00

I know it may be old news, but I have recently been reflecting on Bill O'Reilly's war on Christmas. It may seem a little ironic, but I believe their is some validity to the notion that there is a war being waged on, if not necessarily Christmas, then on Christianity. Why is that ironic? Because that war is being waged by those, like Mr. O'Reilly, who claim the label "Christian" and who claim to follow the Christ who's birth we celebrate annually on Christmas.

How did "conservative" Republicans come to monopolized our faith? [Editior's note- I put the word "conservative" in quotations here because these Republicans to whom I refer are anything but conservatives. My favored definition of "conservative" is a fairly general one: "someone who favors change (political or otherwise) to be made gradually and deliberately, if at all". There are many other good definitions of the word that are more specific, and are somewhere along the line of: "favors smaller, less intrusive central government"; "prefers the government to err on the side of individual rights"; "values the role of the state and local governments in governing over the need for the federal government to regulate them" (aka "local control" - a conservative mantra even under the current administration that much like "Freedom" can apparently be a battle cry and, provided in this case that the local or state government does not side with the current administrations political agenda, that which is done battle with). There are many other very good definitions of the word "conservative". But clearly, by any definition of the word, these neo-"conservatives" are not actually "conservative" at all.] How did these "conservatives" come to monopolize issues such as morality?

In Kentucky we have a Republican Governor for the first time in generations. Governor Fletcher's campaign platform had nothing to do with any specific agendas. There was little discussion from his camp of specific policies. The only real campaign promise he made was to "clean up the mess" in state politics. He ran on a cult of personality, with the appeal being that he was (essentially by nature of his political party) a morally superior (not the word he used) person who could be trusted to end corruption in government and not be mired in the scandals of previous administrations. One thing that I heard often during the campaign was how nice it would be to have a "good Christian" in office.

Governor Fletcher is currently embroiled in the biggest political scandal in recent memory. And to make things worse from the perspective of a liberal Christian like me, his aides (directly involved in the hiring scandal) have taken to referring to themselves as "Disciples" and "Apostles" in reference to Christ's followers, as though Governor Fletcher were some kind of a Messiah. Governor Fletcher's defense in this scandal is two fold: his administration did not really understand the laws that they were breaking (although he has made deliberate efforts to change the laws in question), and his administration did nothing that the previous administrations had not already been doing. Neither of these arguments inspire much confidence in the man who ran on a platform of being (on moral grounds) the perfect man to "fix" problems like these.

This is not a problem just in the state of Kentucky. The current Bush administration is marred by scandals involving its handling of the so-called war on terror. This self-described "strong Christian" has unabashedly lied and manipulated intelligence, and played to the general public's fears to retain power and enact his policies of maintaining a "Big Brother"-esque watch over American society. President Bush also seems more interested in placating the Religious Right by taking verbal stands against immorality and in favor of public religion than by working on policies that advance the social issues that Jesus himself preached tirelessly on.

Why do voters just concede morality to those who claim it? Why do we just concede religion to those who wrap themselves in its banner? My grandfather (a retired Southern Baptist minister) likes to say that just because he says he's a Christian doesn't mean that he is. We have to examine the lives, policies, and political tactics of those who claim allegiance to God to gain political advantage to see if they are consistent with the life and teachings of Christ. In all too many cases they are not.

I am tired of doing damage control for the hypocrisies of those who most publicly claim my religion. I am tired of trying to convince people that the teachings of Jesus don't include plugs for the Republican Party (or more specifically that you have to be a Republican to be a Christian). [Editor's note- I actually had a friend tell me during the past Presidential election that, though he agreed with John Kerry's platform more than President Bush's, he felt like he had to vote for Bush because Bush was a Christian who felt "called by God" to be President.] I am tired of people thinking that Christians want God to hate and condemn them. I am especially tired of the majority claiming that they are being persecuted and oppressed, while doing the actually persecution and oppression.

I do not think that these people are preserving or "saving" Christmas and Christianity. They are destroying it by distorting and perverting all that Jesus taught in order to gain their own power.

Tom

The true meaning of the season?

2005-12-20T06:44:00.000-05:00

Christmas has come early for The Silent Screen this year

2005-12-19T07:06:00.000-05:00

It will indeed be a merry Christmas for The Silent Screen. After much persuasion and arm twisting, we have convinced our first (and only) choice as drummer to come on over to the dark side and join our fold. Welcome to our little underworld, Mr. David Chapman.

As exciting as the last few weeks of songwriting have been, to hear these songs that Scot and I have been working on as a full band instead of just as a hypothetical band was nothing short of awesome yesterday. I have said previously here that I thought this material was going to be a fair amount more "rock" than what I'm used to doing. Yesterday's jam with Chappy drumming was deafening (in a good way). The material is intense and yet listenable. It is grounded in a rock foundation and yet branches out into odd metered sections and some atonal parts. I think it best combines all of our quirky talents into a feel that is far greater than the sum of its parts (and those parts are all pretty darned good). It is everything (in my opinion) that a power trio should be. And it sure does have the "power" part down.

I'm looking forward to getting into the recording studio (ASAP) and getting some of this stuff tracked well and released into the wild (aka internet sales, gigs, etc.).

Also, The Silent Screen will be moving into a new (to us) and more permanent jamming/recording location in the next month. It is very exciting to know that the days of setting up and tearing down every week are almost at an end.

I'll keep you posted on all of the goings on of this and any other pertinent projects (both musical and otherwise) as they occur.

Tom

[Editor's note- I still intend to post something Christmas-y here every day between now and Christmas. If I fail to follow through on that intention- Merry Christmas to all of you. Thank you for reading this blog.]

I'll let this comic just speak for itself

2005-12-18T19:30:00.000-05:00

What is she really upset about?

2005-12-17T13:22:00.000-05:00

No, she's not upset at Santa.

I know this picture looks like she is, but the picture is incapable (by nature of being a "still" shot, capturing one moment in time in a sea of infinite moments) of showing the real cause of this girl's anger. This girl is pissed off (as we all should be) about the fact that fear and perceived inherent moral superiority have allowed a President and a party to trample over all that we stand for in the name of that which they are trampling on. While "freedom" is their battle cry, it is also their enemy.

This girl is upset because she knows that it is not that big of a deal to most Americans that the President has admitted (proudly) to "eavesdropping" (SPYING!) on his own people without any due process.

This girl is upset because she knows that, though the President is making such a fuss about the Patriot Act, he apparently does't feel like he needs it or any legislation to dictate to him what he can and can not do in the name of "National Security".

This girl is upset because she knows that the feeling of insecurity and vulnerability due to an unknown and unseen threat has allowed most of us to permit those who would prey on our insecurities to do just that at a time when we should stand strong and not allow the rights of those most vulnerable to be trampled in the name of our security.

This girl is upset because this video does not depict an isolated incident, or a viable way to deter our enemies. Torturing foreign nationals in foreign countries (because we certainly don't do that type of thing in America) in order for them to lie to us is not a viable way to deter terrorism.

This girl is upset because someday soon she won't be able to tell if this is a Republic or a Monarchy.

And this girl is not afraid to tell Santa all about it.

Tom

While we're doing Santa cartoons...

2005-12-16T16:34:00.000-05:00

Chris told me about these cartoons. He thought it was appropriate given my previous post about Josh praying to Santa. I'm not sure if these cartoons are an indictment of the Santa myth, materialism, fundamentalism, or just a good natured ribbing of them all.

Whatever it is it's freaking funny.

By the way, if you've noticed the recent abundance on this site of trivial little posts like this one lately, you are not alone. I too have noticed this. And it concerns me greatly (though not enough to post anything meaningful and original at present).

To make up for the lack of substance I have changed the sidebar. You will notice a new section of links called "If we are the body...". It contains links to organizations supporting causes that I believe in and feel like are consistent with the teachings of Jesus. That does not mean that I can in any way speak for God or for the will of God. I can, however, speak for me. And I believe that these are all worth while organizations and issues that merit our support.

Please check them out. I am in no way compensated for these links, and have nothing to gain from your checking them out (other than the possibility of living in a better world). If you have come across anything that you believes merits support, let me know.

I have often expressed the belief that what we elect not to do that is good is every bit as bad (if not worse) than what bad we do do (ha ha... he said "doo-doo").

Let's do some good together.

Tom

A peek into the future...

2005-12-15T11:59:00.000-05:00

Can't you just see Josh and Caleb doing this when they get older?

Josh is a clever boy. He loves playing games and puzzles. He can figure out almost anything he puts his mind to. Although he is only five (actually, almost six), I have to actually try to wind up not losing to him a checkers. He can now think more than one move in advance and execute strategies. He's progressing well at chess, too. Someday soon I will no longer be able to play him. I don't think my ego can take losing to my son.

Clearly Josh (in this scenario) is the one who would come up with the plan to drug Santa to get all of the presents.

Caleb (Bam-Bam) would make sure they have enough weapons.

By the way, I'm starting to get into if not the Christmas spirit, then at least a Christmas spirit (albeit a little bit deranged one).

I think finals have made me lose my grip.

Tom

[Editor's note- This cartoon is from Penny Arcade. Funny stuff for geeks, nerds, and dorks.]

Jolly old elf?

2005-12-14T11:49:00.000-05:00

A picture is worth a thousand words, huh?

These pictures speak to my opinion of the commercialized "Santa" Christmas in more like a million. What the hell kind of mall hired these guys? I feel sorry for these kids' parents. Did they sit on the lap of the "real" Santa, who just happens to be a monster? Or is Santa merely an idiot who hires demonic (or possibly just drunk) "helpers"? It would seem like too much work to maintain the mythology under those conditions.

My wife almost blew the secret wide open the other day when Josh was praying to Santa for a toy helicopter. I'm sure if he sat of the lap of one of these Santas that would not have been an issue.

Tom

[Editor's Note- For more pictures from the Scared of Santa Gallery (where these pictures came from) click here.]

Happy Birthday Caleb!

2005-12-13T06:22:00.000-05:00

It's hard to believe that it's been two years already.

Our baby, Caleb Robert Baker, turns two today. What is equally hard to believe is that this child, Bam-Bam, he who wields the weapons of mass destruction that our president will never find on a daily basis at his siblings and our pets; he who's life's goal is to become a Jedi Knight (although I'm almost certain that he will turn to the dark side and become a Sith like his sister before him); he of Viking Warrior attire, physique, disposition, and fighting style; he to whom the only way to properly carry a cat is upside down; he to whom the only real sport is a contact sport, even golf (I see football and ice hockey in his future); he to whom even video games are full contact and no holds barred; he of countless emergency room trips for various feats of daring-do; he who lost his first tooth (again, I see ice hockey in this boy's future) at an age (four months) younger than when most children have received their first tooth, due to his rambunctious nature and aggressive sleeping style; "Mr. Boo-Boo Head" himself; how could he ever have ever been appropriately referred to as a "baby"?

Well, he is officially a "baby" no longer (even per his mother's and grandmother's standards regarding such matters). We have a two-year-old on our hands now. A "Big Kid". One who can walk and talk and who knows sixty-seven ways to kill you with a toy lightsaber. If the first two years of his life are any indication, the next few should be pretty exciting.

God help us all.

Tom

[Editor's aside- I know where you were two years ago today, Heather and Chappy, and I could never thank you enough.]

Apparently I'm a bit of a nerd (albeit a "cool" one)

2005-12-09T16:25:00.000-05:00

I just finished taking a test to determine once and for all whether or not I am a "geek", a "nerd", or a "dork". Below are the results. (Note- There are some wierd spacing issues that I have been unable to fix in the html, thereby nullifying the "nerd" result, in my opinion. Any self respecting nerd would be able to get this right.)

Modern, Cool Nerd
78 % Nerd, 56% Geek, 39% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd and Geek, earning you the title of: Modern, Cool Nerd.

Nerds didn't use to be cool, but in the 90's that all changed. It used to be that, if you were a computer expert, you had to wear plaid or a pocket protector or suspenders or something that announced to the world that you couldn't quite fit in. Not anymore. Now, the intelligent and geeky have eked out for themselves a modicum of respect at the very least, and "geek is chic." The Modern, Cool Nerd is intelligent, knowledgable and always the person to call in a crisis (needing computer advice/an arcane bit of trivia knowledge). They are the one you want as your lifeline in Who Wants to Be a Millionaire (or the one up there, winning the million bucks)!

Congratulations!

Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in any of the following:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Professional Wrestling

Love & Sexuality

America/Politics

Thanks Again! -- THE NERD? GEEK? OR DORK? TEST

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 88% on nerdiness

You scored higher than 80% on geekosity

You scored higher than 69% on dork points

Link: The Nerd? Geek? or Dork? Test written by donathos on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Eulogy for a friend

2005-12-08T13:00:00.000-05:00

Meshas the cat has died today.

Meshas adopted my family when I was in high school (I don't mean that my family adopted the cat, she picked us, not the other way around). I'm not sure when she first started to appear in the yard. The first time I noticed her she had chased a squirrel up a tree and did not like the looks of any hypothetical paths down from the tree. She was a yowling mess. I would like to say that I help get her down and we spent many happy years together after that, but that is not the case.

I was a teenager. I found it funny and just laughed at her. It was starting to get cold, so I had a very small attention-span to devote to tree-bound yowling cats at that time. I went inside to warm up. I can only assume that she eventually found her own way down, if only because she did not remain eternally in the tree.

The cat continued to come around the house, so my mother began putting a dish of cat food out for her. This continued until the full onset of winter. My mother could not stand to let the animal freeze, so she made a little place in the garage for her.

We had never been allowed to own a cat, and this cat was (per my parents) to be no exception. My father had always claimed an allergy to cats (as well as basically any animal with the notable exception of the dogs that he had always been particularly fond of). Nevertheless the cat managed rather stealthily to move its home from the garage (which was outside of the home and therefore did not elevate the animal into full-fledged household pet-dom) to the basement (very much a part of the inside of the house).

Around this time I was going through a bit of teenage insomnia. I could (if allowed) sleep until well after noon on any given day. What I could not do, however, was to sleep at "decent" hours of the night. After observing this behavior in several subsequent teenagers that have entered my life at different times I have decided that that is just the way the teenage body and mind work best (or at the very least the preferred teenage sleep pattern). My bedroom had no television (curiously when I moved out and my younger brother came to occupy the room a TV was added) which made it per my standards unsuitable for remaining in at night when all other occupants of the house slept. The basement had a television complete with a VCR and cable. It also contained a very comfortable couch positioned perfectly for the watching of said television. The basement became my destination of choice.

The basement also contained the new cat. It was during this time of sharing the basement together that the cat that I came to call "Meshas" (for reasons still unknown to me) and I developed a strong bond. She would circle the couch running and jumping and plafully demanding my attention. Sometimes she would curl in my lap and we would watch movies together. Sometimes she would become so playful and wildly energetic that the basement carpet would produce visible sparks of static electricity.

It did not take Meshas too long to progress from occupying the basement to taking over the entire house. This occurred when my mother hit her with a car in the driveway, and then felt remorse for squishing her tail and injuring her leg. Although she did it in steps (some of them rather painful), Meshas had adopted our family and we had come to accept her not as the cat or that cat but our cat. My father, once so against owning a cat, had even grown to accept Meshas so much that he would allow her to sit with him in his chair while he watched baseball or golf or whatever else he was inclined to watch from his chair (although he would only do this while he thought no one was looking.)

The cat that had grown accustomed to my company in the basement came to sleep with me in my bed, too. She would even go so far as to attempt to share my pillow. It was not a rare occasion for me to wake up in the middle of the night with a cat sleeping on my head. Even today when my own kittens (Meshas remained in my parents' house after I moved away for college and then got married) pounce on my feet in the middle of the night I can't help thinking of my time spent with Meshas.

Another cat recently adopted my parents in the same manner that Meshas did. It took "Cali" the same amount of time and number of steps that it took Meshas to became a part of the family (other than the getting-hit-by-a-car step). But she has made them. And she did so while she was pregnant, thus giving me kittens to have at my own house. Cali and Meshas got along well in what turned out to be Meshas' last few months (although initially Meshas did not take well to Cali, attacking her in the yard a few times.) I suspected that Meshas had passed when I saw Cali this morning behaving peculiarly. This suspicion was then confirmed by my mother.

Life goes on. Things change. I cannot regain the care free days of playing with the spark-producing basement-dwelling cat. I cannot regain the days of a cat whom I cared so much for that I allowed it to sleep on my face. Time marches on. Meshas and I did not stay as close after I moved out and she was not my cat again after that. This is neither good nor bad, but merely the way things are. We neither remain the same nor do we get to have others remain how we would like them to be as well. We grow. We grow old. We change. And we die.

But how I would love to be able to recapture those early days that Meshas came into my life.

I'm sure there will likewise be days that I would like for Josh to still be in kindergarten. Or for Maggie to still be my little girl. Or for Caleb to still be the baby. But they, like cats, teenagers, and all other living things will grow and change. And they too will move on.

Maybe it's a little ironic that death can bring so much observation about life.

Tom

[Update (12/13/05)- Pictures of Meshas have been added.]

Faking it

2005-12-06T13:13:00.000-05:00

First off (and unrelated to anything else I plan to say in the rest of this post) - We have just hit a new milestone. This morning the odometer in my van rolled over to 190,000 miles. At our current pace "Bessie the Deathtrap" should hit 200,000 miles around May or June. That is if she lives that long. Shannon has attempted to re-christen the van "Mona the Moneypit" due to a series of recent repairs that we have had to pay for. A new Baker-mobile may be on the horizon sooner than I would like to think.

And now... On with the post.

This past weekend a few interesting things occurred which brought me to thinking about who I really am. The first of these was my grandparents coming to visit us.

I love having relatives come. It gives me a sense of validity. I enjoy hearing about what wonderful children I have. I enjoy having people who love me take an interest in my life, And I enjoy spending time with people whom I love and do not get to see as often as I like.

One thing that occurred during their recent visit that was especially meaningful was that my grandfather and I got to spend some prolonged time alone together. We went on a long walk, just the two of us, and spent that time talking about (as Douglass Adams would say) life, the universe, and everything. The last time I can remember just the two of us doing that was when I was twelve. It was a very different me he was talking to then.

What I noticed about the current "adult" version of myself that was different than the child he once new is that I am now a much more guarded, less open person. As a child I could (provided I had not been misbehaving) tell my grandfather anything without filtering or spinning it. As the years have progressed I have (for reasons not totally understood by myself) felt the need to present only aspects of myself that I think would most fit the image I would like him to have of me. It's like I have to prove myself to be "grown up". The problem is, I'm really not a grown up. At least I don't feel like one.

I realize that many years ago I reached the chronological threshold of adulthood. Shortly after that I reached another adulthood milestone by getting married. Very shortly thereafter I reached an even more critical adulthood milestone by becoming a parent. Several times over. I've had several jobs and even something of a "career" once. It's just that I've not really felt adulthood kick in. I feel like I'm just faking it, and if I'm not careful everyone will begin to notice.
This sense of inherent inadequacy lack of belonging in the adult world was enhanced by the second interesting occurrence. I was asked to help coach my oldest son's basketball team.

I love basketball, and like any good Kentuckian I am fairly knowledgeable of the sport. I played in youth and church leagues until I was seventeen and recently began playing again in a recreational league. I am neither a spectacularly gifted nor spectacularly ungifted basketball player. What I have never been, however, is someone who feels in any way qualified to instruct anyone else in the game. I have now been entrusted to do just that.

And the cool thing is the kids listen to me. It's like they don't know any better and think I can actually adequately instruct them in the ways of the sport. They don't have any idea I'm faking it.

And they're actually learning.

I can't take all the credit for that. I am one of three coaches for our team. But I can tell when I'm having a positive impact.

It really got me thinking about who I am and who I'm not.

I don't have as much basketball knowledge as some people. But I know infinately more than five and six-year-olds. And what I have to offer them they desperately want and need.

I don't have a big house in the suburbs and a BMW. I don't make a lot of money. I'm a good five or ten years younger than most of my oldest son's classmates' parents. I'm actually the youngest member of the Praise Band that it is my job to lead. I don't have a lot of things that seem to be the necessary trappings of our "adult" world.

But I have a great life. And a great wife. And three outstanding children. I also have a job that while it may not be monetarily lucrative is more spiritually rewarding than anything I've ever done.

I may be waiting for the feeling of adulthood to kick in and endow me with a sense of belonging and legitimacy, but I don't need to miss out on or sell short the life I currently have or the man I currently am.

Tom

Merciful God

2005-11-29T11:58:00.000-05:00

It's been awhile, hasn't it? The holidays, sick children, a sick wife, and being sick myself have kept me from writing for a while. But I can't stay idle forever. An issue has brought me back to the computer. I plan to rant a little bit about some increasingly heated exchanges between "conservatives" and "liberals" (of which I consider myself to be one) about how to best express the love of Jesus (which both sides, incidentally, seem unable to express to each other) but I would like to lead off with a song I recently wrote for The Silent Screen.

Merciful God
By Tom Baker (©2005)

Beautiful colors, Beautiful words
You beautifully despise
The rest of the world
Lies on your bumper stickers
Lies in the hearts of men
Can you condemn?

The worst of the sinners
The "sanctified few"
Are casting their stones
In full view of a merciful God

How long will we continue
Living this lie in His name
That Jesus only came for us?
All men God created
In His image and proclaimed
"It is good"

What's more of a curse?
Speaking His name in vain
Or is it worse
Not living love in the grace of merciful God?

So what do we have to offer
Heaven or hell?
And who could tell
If we're not living love?

I believe that there are very few bonafide differences between "liberal" and "conservative" Christians. I use quotations around both of these terms because I like to shy away from using labels which are over generalized and relatively arbitrary. What it is to be a "liberal" means something very different to some people than it does to others. The same is true for the "conservative" label. If you asked me (please do) I'd likely tell you that it's all just bull shit.

Incidentally, the word "bull shit" is one that I think could be very effective from the pulpit (which is one of the innumerable reasons that I would most likely not make a very good pastor). Congregations often engage in stupid, petty little disputes that the pastor often has to get involved in. It would be refreshing to hear a pastor call his (or her) congregation out and instead of telling them that their behavior and/or line of thinking is "bogus", "garbage", or even (gasp) "crap", he (or she) just called it the "bull shit" that it really is. But, then again, it could create more problems than it solves.

I believe that the most significant disagreements between "conservatives" and "liberals" are rooted not in the issues that they purport to be about, but in underlying assumptions that each side holds of the other and want no part of being, themselves. For instance, "conservatives" view "liberals" (stereotypically) as being touchy-feely-"all-we-need-is-love" relativists who undermine God's authority and don't want to believe in sin. "Liberals" view "conservatives" as gay-bashing Bible-beating holier-than-thou assholes. These assumptions may be "proven" true in a few anecdotal instances for either the "liberal" or "conservative" that holds this view. But that does not mean that these stereotypical assumptions accurately reflect the whole of either group.

I know more than a few "conservatives" that are more compassionate than I could ever hope to be. I also know a few that are just plain bigoted. That does not mean that all "conservatives" are compassionate or that all "conservatives" are bigots. In fact, being a "conservative" may or (more likely) may not have anything to do with that person being either a truly loving, caring, compassionate example of the love of God or a bigot.

That brings me to "witnessing". Often, when I hear that word I think of the example of a youth minister that I worked (very briefly) with. His view was that we had to "win" people to Christ. To do that, we had to first break them by convincing them how bad they truly are and that they deserve not only every bad thing that happens to them in this life but to be eternally condemned to even worse upon this life's end. He equipped his youth with the Ten Commandments and would send them into the mall to find people to essentially attack with their own sinful nature until they were convinced that they should be damned.

First of all, I'm not sure that our "Conquistador" ministry mindset is all that healthy. Perhaps we should go about "loving" people rather than "winning" them. The "conquest" mindset and terminology seems to do a great of objectifying the people whom God made and God loves.

I believe that Christians (whether "conservative", "liberal", or whatever other arbitrary label they endow themselves with) should be in the business of living God's love.

Period.

End of story.

We get into a lot of disputes over how to go about doing this. I'm not sure we aren't better off with a "you-do-it-your-way-and-I'll-do-it-my-way" approach to this. I'm sure there are very compelling reasons from both sides why that would be a horrible idea. There are a great deal of horrible ideas out there, and I'm sure to have endorsed a fair few of them in my brief time on Earth. The problem is that we have so many clear Biblical examples of why our way (which ever "our way" it might be) is the only way to do it.

The Bible is extraordinarily big. And was written a long time ago, and over a long period of time, too. It says a lot of stuff. Some people read it one way. Some people read it another. We all bring our own personal and cultural perspectives to the reading of it. The bottom line is that almost every demographic believes something different about what the Bible says. Each does so seemingly in the context of a relationship with God.

So who is right?

Probably none of us. At least none of us are completely right. Anyone that would claim to absolutely understand in complete, specific detail the total will of the unlimited (or near enough so) God should be dealt with with extreme skepticism.

I don't begin to understand how we should address these issues. But I do want everyone who encounters me to know the love of God. To me, that means that I be accepting and not judgmental. It means that I be patient and not rude. It means that I be compassionate and caring, and give constantly of myself. It means that I often consider others' needs before my own. It means that I live a life that I believe is consistent with what I believe of God and what I believe that God wants me to be.

I don't do all of this as well as I'd like to. I'm a work in progress. We are all works in progress. I pray that some day we put our divisive labels, assumptions and stereotypes aside and progress together.

Tom

Tired

2005-11-18T07:55:00.000-05:00

I am tired.

I don't mean that I'm feeling tired right now (though I am). I mean that I am tired as a state of being. Whenever asked how I'm doing, if I were to be truthful about it, I would respond "tired".

Why am I tired?

Because I am a parent. It is absolutely amazing how little sleep you can manage to get as a parent.

If you read my previous posting you might mistakenly believe that I am only temporarily tired due to a short-term sleep deprivation issue related to caring for a sick child. Yes, the other night Josh was up all night barfing. And yes, I stayed up with him all night, holding his hand, rubbing his back, holding his puke bucket, and cleaning up his mess. But no, that is not the reason I am tired.

It may be a reason, but it is not the reason.

As I said before: I am tired because I am a parent.

When you become a parent you know to expect to initially lose some sleep. Babies cry. That's what they do. They eat. They poop. They cry. That's about it. If you've seen any movies about babies, read any books about babies, or have known anyone who has ever actually had a baby then you must surely know that babies cry. And when the baby cries all night, its parents do not sleep.

That is something everyone ought to know going into the whole parenting deal. What they don't tell you is that this sleep deprivation thing doesn't get any better.

How do I know?

I have no babies.

I have children. "Big kids" they like to call themselves. I have (accounting for upcoming birthdays) a six-year-old, a four-year-old, and a two-year-old. They are well spaced. By this I mean that people who don't have children of this exact spacing tell we that they are well spaced. Parents with children of similar age differences just give me a knowing, pitying look.

To have three children this close together means that I have three children currently young enough to wake up at any given hour of the night needing a drink. Or to go to the bathroom. Or who just need to be held. Or who have an ear ache, stomach ache, head ache, or any other mystery ailment that needs immediate parental treatment and then empathy sufficient enough to allow the ailing child permission to spend the rest of the night not in his own bed, but mine.

Any child of the age of any of my children is likely to at some point subscribe to any of these aforementioned behaviors. Having so many of these children reside in my house just makes the odds favorable that it will happen tonight.

So I'm tired because my children keep needing me in the middle of the night, right?

Maybe.

But I'm not sure that I wouldn't be tired if I wasn't urgently needed for some mystery ailment in the middle of the night, anyway.

Being a parent means that I am responsible for the well being of my children. I am charged with their care.

Their protection.

Their well being. And not just their physical well being.

I am entrusted with the responsibility to ensure that they not only survive to adulthood, but become reasonably well adjusted adults when they get there. I am charged with loving them more than myself, and making damn sure that they know it.

They have to know that they're loved. Not just to academically assent to the idea that they are loved, but to experience it.

It's hard work to love someone so much, so I am quite tired from it.

But it's good work, if you can get it.

Yes, I'm tired. That is unlikely to change. I'm tired just thinking about the upcoming time when instead of having three young children who need me and know it, I'll have three teenagers who may need me even more and not realize it.

Or if they do, they'd never let me know.

I can remember seeing my parents take turns sitting awake in the living room at late hours in the night. Either one of them would be alone in a rocking chair or a recliner on any given night. Superficially they might be reading a book. Or maybe watching a movie on TV. I never thought much about it. They'd just tell me that they couldn't sleep. It seemed odd to me, but not in a way that I was inclined to devote my limited and otherwise engaged mental resources to it.

That was before I became a parent.

I get it now. I understand exactly why they would be awake in the middle of the night. I don't understand this in a way that I can adequately articulate. I just experience it.

See, to be a parent is to always be necessary. A parent's job is never done. And some nights you just have to remain "on duty", even if you don't know why.

I'm glad for these days when I do know why.

I was up last night because Maggie's ears hurt. I was up the night before because Caleb was too cold in his room. I was up the night before that because Josh was throwing up.

In ten years I may be up because I just don't know where Josh is. I may be up because Maggie might want to try to sneak out of the house. I may be up for any number of reasons that I frankly just don't wish to think about right now.

I may just be up because I might be necessary. A parent can always be necessary.

I am tired, and I will most likely remain tired for quite some time.

I'm tired, but satisfied.

Tom

The Bucket Brigade: Volunteers wanted... PLEASE!

2005-11-16T17:59:00.000-05:00

Nothing can bring you out of a writing funk like spending all night with a five-and-a-half-year-old who wants to know why he can't stop throwing up. After a night like last night in which I spent doing just that I have grown to better appreciate the extraordinarily selfless (and strong stomached) medical professionals that are nurses.

I know I could never be one.

Now, I wasn't really in a writing funk. Sure, it's been a few days since I posted something here. But I have posted several chapters of my ambiguous work of fiction (it's about time to declare that it is or at least will become a book, but I'm not emotionaly ready to make that step yet) during that time. And Scot and I are still plugging away at the song writing process for The Silent Screen. I have actually never had more faith in any material that I have worked on in my life than I do in the song's we're currently writing.

And yes, that is really saying something.

If you asked anyone that's known me for very long they'd gladly tell you that I lack a great many things. One thing they would not tell you that I lack is confidence in my music. I am very proud of every musical project that I have ever been involved with. They have all been successful in their own unique way (which is all too often not monetarily successful).

But this music is coming together better than anything I've ever been associated with. All we need now is a good drummer that shares our vision (as well as the ability to play in odd meters while maintaining something of a rock groove that is both listenable and musically interesting... not that I'm asking for a lot or anything) and we ought to be as good as any band has any right to be.

And if that drummer is one that wouldn't mind holding my son's puke bucket for me right now...

Well that's probably asking too much.

Tom

I love the smell of fresh cat litter in the morning... it smells like victory.

2005-11-12T13:41:00.000-05:00

For those of you who may not have read my wife's recent blog posting, there is quite a stench that has developed in (infected) my house.

It seems to have fallen upon me to rectify this situation.

I'm still working like crazy on my ambiguous work of fiction. Chapter three is finished and posted, and chapter four is outlined and in the process of being written. I still don't even have so much as a working title for it yet, but I'm starting to get a feel for where the story is going.

I'd love to spend all day writing, but I absolutely, without fail, have got to discover the source of the entity now known simply as THE SMELL and eliminate it at all costs. After (and only after) this arduous task has been accomplished will I resume the creative writing process.

I'd love to take this time to write some witty yet possibly spiritually deep diatribes about whatever I may have observed that was interesting in a metaphoric way today. I'd love to also finish chapter four and possibly even map out chapter five of my work of fiction. I'd really love to work some more on some of the songs for The Silent Screen that I will (hopefully) begin recording tomorrow. I'd love to do all of these things (and possibly even take a nap), but I must clean.

So clean I shall.

Feel free to come back by later and see if I actually survived this horrific endeavor.

And if you haven't weighed in on the issue yet (or even if you have), please feel free to comment on my "What would Jesus bomb?" forum.

Tom

[update: (5:02 pm) THE SMELL was idetified as coming from a cereal bowl at the bottom of a stack of cereal bowls. When it was placed in this stack (quite some time ago) the bowl apparently did not have the last remnants of cereal and milk removed from it.

I survived this encounter.

The horribly molded bowl did not.]

What would Jesus bomb?

2005-11-10T12:48:00.000-05:00

A forum

What would Jesus bomb? This question was posed to me by a bumper sticker today. The answer I would like to be able to give is "nothing".

Here's your chance to way in on the issue (whatever the issue may actually be).

I would like to use the question "what would Jesus bomb" as something of a launching pad. Where does it take you? Let me know. Post your comments about this here, and I will read and compile them for use in a post at a later time (this is my idea of how to reasonably skeech all of your good ideas).

What would Jesus bomb?

I anxiously await your answers.

Tom

Living near a golf course can teach you a lot about when to just let things go for a while

2005-11-10T08:59:00.000-05:00

As the title of this posting implies, I live near a golf course. Not on a golf course, mind you. That would imply a certain amount of affluence that I am unlikely to acquire (at least not anytime soon). Just near one. Near enough, at least, that I drive past it every day to get almost anywhere that I am likely to need to go.

A few days ago, while making this drive, I saw a peculiar sight. I knew that what I saw just had to be a metaphor for something. But what? That was puzzling me until just now.

What did I see?, you ask.

A man, walking somewhat dejectedly down the middle of the road, carrying one solitary golf club.

There are a number of potential scenarios for how this could happen, each as implausible as the next. The whole scene just seemed absurd and surreal to me. What could possibly make someone decide on a course of action that would lead to that person walking down the road carrying one club? Not a set a clubs. Not even a few clubs. Just one club.

I don't know what happened. I'd love to, but the guy didn't seem to be of a disposition that he would have been likely to have graciously answered any inquisitions into the matter at that time. And it would seem equally absurd to attempt to track down this person later.

How would that go anyway?

Would I just walk around the clubhouse asking people if they knew anyone (or were, in fact, someone) who would be likely to have been walking in the middle of the road (in middle of the road!) outside the golf course carrying just one club?

It just seems like an easier and much more manageable task to speculate as to what might have happened.

It happens that the section of the road that the man in question was traversing was very close to the fence that borders the golf course. My best guess here is that this person was either 1). a golf addict without the affluence to either buy a proper set of clubs or to enter the course through legal means, and was therefore comfortable with the idea of jumping the fence just ahead for entry and driving and putting with some kind of iron, or more likely 2). the kind of golf addict that wouldn't give up in the face of sheer, frustrating, undeniable inability to accomplish what he would like to accomplish on the course, and might therefore allow that frustration to build up to a good, rolling boil, sufficient enough to enrage him to the point of jettisoning the club that he just miss hit the ball with (again!) into the stratosphere and over the nearby fence where it then would have landed in the street.

The truth may be that this person was neither of these things, but instead something else entirely that I have yet to even consider. Personally I like to believe that option two is the most likely scenario.

Whatever the case may be, this event has presented itself with some kind of meaning for me.

I have a lot on my plate right now. I'm a husband. I'm a full time student. I'm a full time parent. I'm a part time employee of a church (as a contemporary worship leader). I'm a musician recording not one, but two albums (Les Pretentious Poseur and Just in Your Head). I'm helping to form and write material for another band. I am now writing a new work of fiction.

Somehow, in all of this, I have become a little stressed out. Imagine that!

Most of what I am doing is progressing well and is very fulfilling for me in its own, intended way. Les Pretentious Poseur is finished (not released yet, but finished). The ambiguous work of fiction has invigorated my muse and proved to be surprisingly quick in the writing. The creative process for The Silent Screen has been exciting and rewarding in indescribable ways. Things have actually never been better at the church.

School is school, but I need a degree. There's nothing I can do about that. And the children are my children, there is nothing that I do that is more fulfilling than being a father (or especially a Daddy) to them.

Progress on Just in Your Head, however, is not where I would like it to be. I just figured that with how well and quickly the recording was going for Les Pretentious Poseur that I could duplicate that feat with Just in Your Head. Perhaps I just bit off more than I could chew.

So what lesson did I learn from the mystery golfer?

Some times it's best to just let some things go (if only for a little while) before you lose your cool and do something rash, and possibly even irreparable.

So I have decided that I will most likely release Les Pretentious Poseur sooner than I had anticipated, and take some time away from the Just in Your Head material. I am not abandoning the project. Just taking a few weeks (maybe more, maybe less) away from the project to kind of clear my head.

I will keep you updated as I know more myself.

Tom

There's another writer in the family

2005-11-09T09:33:00.000-05:00

My son Josh just wrote a story on the computer.

Josh is very interested in all of the things I do. He had so much interest in the guitar from watching me play that he convinced his mother and I to buy him one for his fourth birthday. I got my first guitar when I was twelve, so he's got a pretty good head start. I'd like to think he'll be a virtuoso. It doesn't really matter, though.

He does look the part of a guitarist. He's watched me play every chance he gets and mimics me well. He's got good form and plays with a loose wrist. That's the first (and often most difficult) lesson I give to my students, and it just came naturally to him. He just picked it up by watching me. I never had to intentionally show him anything.

I have not intentionally shown him how to use the computer to write, either. But last night he asked me if he could write a story on the computer. Apparently he has been interested in doing so ever since I started this webpage. It's something else that Daddy does, and so it poses an inherent interest to him. I have no problem with this, though it makes me wonder how many bad habits of mine he feels compelled to emulate (but that's a topic for another time).

Josh says he wants to be a writer. On the way to take him to school today, he even asked me if we could go over his story, change some things, add some stuff to it, and just generally make it better. I'm actually excited about the prospect. My almost six-year-old son wants to get into the proofreading and editing process for writing.

This whole course of events has inspired me.

I get to write here. I get to write music. I get (have) to write at school. I get a lot of opportunities to write, and I use them as best I can. But my kindergartener just wrote a story. Granted, it's a kindergarten story, but it is a story.

I haven't even attempted a work of fiction in a long time.

Well, now I have.

Here is a link to a new work of fiction I am writing. I don't really know what it will be. It may just be a short story. I may get carried away and make it a novella or (heaven forbid) a novel. I don't know. The point is that I am writing.

I will keep you updated about its progress, as well as music news, in the future.

Tom

Some seemingly random observations that could only (hypothetically) be tied together in a Dirk Gently-esque holistic way

2005-11-08T09:19:00.000-05:00

When a car is coming at you, going the wrong way in your lane, you can not reason with it. You can not tell it that it is wrong to be there (or at least mistaken about where it should be). You can't convince it to see things from your point of view. You can't attempt to see things from its point of view. It is a car. You can get out of the way or get hit by it.

I got out of the way this morning.

I'm beginning to understand Dave Arnold a little better this month. (See, I told you they were random. Don't expect things to tie together neatly in the end, either.)

Page 52 of the December issue of Guitar Player has some interesting things to say about Tom Baker's appearance at the NYC Fretless Guitar Festival.

Hey! I'm Tom Baker!

Cool. I'm in Guitar Player.

The problem? I don't play a fretless guitar and was most definitely not at the NYC Fretless Guitar Festival. That's one of those things I think I would have remembered.

It's one thing to share my name with people who have done some mainstream things involving acting. It's another to share a name with a non-famous (or maybe borderline famous, he is in Guitar Player, after all) composition based guitarist who just might be much better at it than I am. That's too much.

So Dave, though I didn't understand it at first, I salute you and your Quiet, KY project name.

After some recent encounters with seminary students I have an observation to make. It is very difficult to study theology, become engrossed in it (maybe for the first time), discover all kinds of new information about God, His revelation, and ways in which to encounter Him, and not over inflate the value of theology (particularly your own).

I have a great deal of respect for those in seminary. Seminary is an educational step that I am, quite frankly, not prepared to make. But I recently counseled a youth who had become inadvertently convinced through a theological conversation with a seminary student that her deceased infant brother was now eternally residing in hell.

The seminary student in question obviously did not mean to tell the youth this. He simply did not know or consider possible interpretations of his theological ramblings. It seems that he was making a theological argument and confused the issue with a sea of words (as often happens when we speak to show off how much we know, rather than to communicate ideas). The youth simply took this sea of words and applied an unintended meaning to them.

This event is an example of what too often happens when we treat theology as the only (or at least the most important) way of encountering God. We paint Him into a box of statements about Him as if He were some sort of arbitrary bureaucratic ruler tied down to a set of rules that have been derived mostly from our limited capacity for understanding the mystery of the cosmos.

I'm not saying that studying theology is bad. In fact I think that it is extraordinarily valuable. I'm just saying that when acquiring knowledge about anything, it must be tempered by the fact that we can't know everything, and are in fact mistaken about a great many things. We too often treat our theology as a matter of life or death (even eternal life or damnation) and behave as though we alone are keepers of the keys to this life.

I'm also saying that it is far too easy to assume that other people share our interests and capabilities.

Some times a little theology, given to someone not terribly interested in theology, misunderstood, and taken as irrefutable fact can be very dangerous.

Tom

The Silent Screen, a different kind of "spiritual community", and celebrating our similarities

2005-11-07T16:25:00.000-05:00

I mentioned a few posts ago that I was working on the songwriting process for a new project called The Silent Screen. I've decided that it's about time to provide an update about its progress.

Scot (the bassist/driving force/co-if-not-main songwriter/fearless leader of the band) and I have developed the routine of getting together on Sundays (after Bengals games, of course) to work on material and the musical direction of the group. We've developed over the last two weeks the workings of about nine songs for the group, along with several instrumental transitions and improvisations. The music is a fair amount heavier than what I would have expected. This may actually be a bona fide rock band. (Yes, for anyone who's familiar with my music, I am still writing parts in odd meters and supplying all kinds of sonic weirdness. Those things are just incorporating themselves into rock songs, instead of my usual you-can-call-it-whatever-you-want-to-call-it-but-it-sure-isn't-rock songs.)

Another interesting development in the material is that a great deal of it is overtly religious in nature (for an overtly religious musician I do not often write overtly religious music.) [Note: I feel weird speaking for Scot in this matter, so I will offer the following observations with the disclaimer that I am not Scot, and am only writing what I believe about him rather than what may actually best represent the truth about him.] Scot seems to me to be a fairly religious person, though definitely one that falls outside the realm of mainstream Christianity. That said, in our conversations on what we believe about God, the nature of the universe, the way we believe that we are intended to live, etc. Scot and I seem (more often than not) to be in agreement. (For a representation of Scot's views from himself rather than from me, click here.) This observation, along with recent postings from several of my friends about "community" got me to thinking about my own spiritual community.

I believe that my church is a good example of a spiritual community. They seem to understand how to love one another and how to create a loving, welcoming environment to all who come, regardless of theological and political persuasion. I have long thought that theology is probably the least important aspect of a church (provided that the theology is not harmful to the church and its members, or interferes with the ability of congressioners to love one another and those outside the congregation). I also think that my church does a very good job of understanding the need and purpose for fellowship as well as worship.

That said, my church is not my spiritual community (or at least is not in and of itself). My spiritual community is much bigger than just one congregation. In fact, it is larger than just one denomination, or even (gasp!) one religion. One of my favorite people to have discussed God, the universe, life, and religion with is a relatively spiritual, yet religiously ambiguous gay man. (Click here for some of my views on homosexuality and the church's treatment of it and homosexuals.) He is someone (along with Scot and others who feel somehow ostracized and alienated from the church but desire a closer understanding of and relationship with God) whom I would consider to be a part of my spiritual community. There are even people who do subscribe to a religion, and that religion is something other than Christianity, who I would like to consider as a part of my spiritual community.

I'm not saying that I subscribe to the tenants of other religions. Too often I don't even really understand them. What I'm saying is that there is one God. And those who honestly seek Him and seek to worship Him are seeking and worshipping the same God that I am. We often have different beliefs about God, but we also have a lot of similarities. And it is absurd to believe that we (who's views of God must be crude and childish compared to His actual reality which we do not posses the capability to fully understand) have sole possession of the complete revelation of God.

What am I suggesting here?

Simply that we celebrate our similarities.

There are some theologies that are harmful. There are some theologies that are rigidly dogmatic, unloving, and even dangerous. I can not responsibly offer anything of a policy for addressing this (or even for determining that which is spiritually beneficial from that which is dangerous). I have my ideas on the subject, but that doesn't make them any more right than anyone else's. All I'm saying is that, if we are to live out the will of God, must learn to love each other.

We can't go around demanding that everyone who does not believe the way we do change or receive eternal damnation. That's not our job. We simply don't get to decide people's eternal fate (and that's a very good thing). We were given very simple marching orders: live the love of God.

I'm sure that He'll take care of the rest. And it will probably work out differently than any of us might think. Better than any of us might think. Perfect, even.

Tom

Ohmer Park, The Salmon of Doubt, and why it's better to ask the right questions than to have all the answers.

2005-11-05T08:17:00.000-05:00

The Backyardigans (a cartoon on Nick Jr.) did a show about Vikings today. It seemed like a wonderful opportunity to write about what's going on in the land of Tom. By the way, in case you're wondering why a cartoon about Vikings is a good opportunity for a grown man to write about his music, I would point out that I am in fact a tall, chronologically advanced child, and also the parent of a Viking, who is at this moment growling at the TV while wearing a Viking hat (complete with horns) and wielding a lightsaber (he's a little genre-confused, but it is a weapon, and he loves weapons of any kind, regardless of genre) and scaring the kittens and his siblings half to death. I love Saturdays.

A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to go to Dayton, Ohio to play an all too rare solo gig at Ohmer Park United Methodist Church. It was a great gig (and one that actually provided monetary rather than just moral, emotional, social, and spiritual support). That got me thinking about the last few gigs that I've played which were in Trapp, Kentucky, Louisville, Kentucky, and the aforementioned Dayton, Ohio gig. What do these gigs have in common? Other than being separated in time by entirely too many weeks (if not months) they all were located somewhere conspicuously not in my native Lexington, Kentucky.

I've decided that if I'm going to just abandon the local music scene of Lexington (which has precious few venues that support original, experimental if not just plain weird, spiritually conscious music) I need to at least go play a gig in St. Louis.

Why St. Louis?

Other than being a large metropolitan area that presumably would (must) appreciate my music more than Lexington, I have family and some friends there and would love the opportunity to visit them and possibly get paid (or at least break even) to visit them.

Is that selfish?

Perhaps.

But I do value my family and friends much more than I value money (as evidenced by the fact that I have a great deal more family and friends than I do money) and I am sure that they understand that fact.

Back to Dayton.

The gig was organized by the church to be a block party for their neighborhood as well as an opportunity for people to make donations for relief efforts for the recent hurricanes. I was one of several "bands" (I use quotes because it seems absurd to call me, an individual, a band, but I was nonetheless booked as one) booked for the event. All of the music took place outdoors. The weather was fantastic and the setup actually worked (a rarity). It was not without its share of drama, but I will not burden you with the drama. My main point here is that it a successful gig. I was well received musically and personally and actually had fun.

There was also (because of the nature of the event) a great deal of time that I was there but not playing. My friend Travis found himself for all intents and purposes facilitating and overseeing the event (part of the aformentioned drama that you will remain un-burdened with). Because of this we (I was staying with him for the weekend) arrived at the church somewhere along the lines of five hours prior to my being necessary for sound check. This afforded me the opportunity to get to meet a number of very interesting people while assisting Travis and Phil (the pastor of the church and also a close friend) with their duties.

There was one girl (or more likely "young woman"; I have a hard time correctly referring to teenagers, who are no more children than they are adults) who made the most lasting impression on me. I was never given her name (she never offered it, even when I asked). She claimed to be an atheist, but she seemed to have very clear personal views of what (who?) God is (this does not mean that I subscribe to her views, merely that she has them). She also made observations about the universe and the nature of the universe that were very well defined for her age. But she would not claim to believe in God. When asked why she said it was because she had a pastor (not Phil, by the way) who simply could not give her the answers that she was looking for.

In some strange way that reminded me of a Douglass Adams book that I'd been reading. The Salmon of Doubt is the book that he was working on upon his death. It was never far enough along to be edited and published as a novel, so Adams' editor decided, upon his death (Douglass Adams', not the editor's; though if it had been the editor's it would have made a more interesting story here) to publish it along with other writings of Adams' on a variety of topics that were found on his computer. If you are unfamiliar with him, along with being an outstanding writer and one of the funniest men on the planet, Douglass Adams was keenly interested in science (particularly evolutionary biology) and technology, and a staunch atheist.

What I found most interesting about these writings was that, like the girl (or "young woman") in Dayton, Adams' observations of the nature and workings of the universe were not dissimilar from mine. Every trait that I had given to God was observed, and then attributed to a force with a different name. (Mostly "evolution". Or should it be "Evolution"?) I am not very familiar with atheist theology (?) and can not hope to accurately represent it here. The only thing I can say is that the observations that I have read all seem to be consistent with the way I view the universe, just without a God. Same data, different set of conclusions.

That brings me to the recent "Christian" battle against the theory of evolution, and science at large. If we really believe what we think we believe then it would seem to me that we would embrace the inherent quest for knowledge in science. If we believe that God made, ordered, and governs the universe, then any quest for insight into the universe's workings would, at its root, reveal He who made, ordered, and governs it. Science observes the natural world. Evolution is an observation of phenomena that do occur. We can fight it all we want. It does not change the observation.

We need to stop clinging to the belief that science and God are enemies. We need to stop clinging to the belief that no knowledge can exist outside of what is found in the Bible. We need to stop clinging to the belief that all has been revealed and that we alone have all the answers (as though we can actually with our finite and cosmically limited minds fathom all of the wonders of the infinite cosmos).

We need to embrace the idea that questions are good. That seeking is good. That looking for truth is good. We need to embrace it because, if we believe that God is that truth, then those that seek to find the truth will ultimately find God (if only in glimpses).

If I could see the young woman in Dayton again, I would hope to find that she is still asking questions.

Tom

Good morning! Is there anything else I can do to make your day worse?

2005-11-01T09:48:00.000-05:00

As alluded to in the subtitle of this page, I have no real plan for its content. The purpose is to update people of what's going on with my music, life, etc. I have also decided to take this opportunity to use it as my own personal therapy session.

But first, an update:

Although more than a little bit ghetto-rigged, The Woebegotten Wonderland of Tom Baker, Musician now has ordering information and a printable mail order form. It will become astoundingly less un-professional looking at some undisclosed (and undiscovered) future date. When at the website, go to the "Photos" section and it will direct you. I'm trying very hard to make an actual online "catalog" but this is the best I can do for the time being.

Also, as I am prone to plug at every chance I get: Just in Your Head and Les Pretentious Poseur will be available very soon (early 2006). Just in Your Head has six of its nine tracks completely finished (except for the mix tinkering that I feel somehow morally obligated to perform until the quest for perfection is inevitably abandoned in favor of the quest to actually release the disc in my lifetime). Les Pretentious Poseur is done, but I'm delaying its release to coincide with the release of Just in Your Head, not uncoincidentally giving me more opportunity to perform the aforementioned mix tinkering.

And now, the therapy:

As you may or may not know, my wife and I split parenting duties rather efficiently. While I am at school, working in the studio, or fulfilling my duties at the church she is a wonderful doting mother for our three fantastic children. The rest of the time they're my problem. Shannon is also in the process of training for her new job while still working out her notice at her old job. The upshot of this is that I plan to see her again in about two weeks.

My daughter is sick. My daughter also loves her mother very much and is willing to put up with her father in the absence of a suitable adult care provider. She also wants to brush her hair.

NOW.

Why is this a problem?

Daddy has no hair brush.

My wife called this morning to mention that when she left for work she forgot to take Maggie and Caleb's shoes and jackets out of the car. (Apparently Josh got his own out last night and then took them with him to school this morning like the responsible oldest child he is.) I ought to, Shannon said, come by her work get them after I get the kids up and ready.

Now that's inconvenient. But its not that big of a deal. What's ten minutes out of your life, right? So Maggie and Caleb get up, have breakfast, take baths, get dressed, and have the most messed-up-looking-moppy-wet-shaggy-dog case of bed-head-been-washed-but-not-brushed hair I have ever seen.

Caleb is a boy. Caleb is a boy's boy. It's like his first word was football. He's not yet two, but he'll tackle a six-year-old (or even a twenty-six-year-old) that looks at him the wrong way (or any way). We call him "Bam-Bam". His favorite toy is a plastic bat, and no living being would dare come near him when he wields it. He's something of a Viking warrior/Norse god type of personality. So his hair is messed up. Good. It's more intimidating this way. "Bam-Bam" must conquer, bed head or not.

Maggie is a princess. She is so much of a princess she will not allow anyone to call her a princess because she does not yet have a crown. There are only two colors in Maggie's world: pink and purple. I think it's actually one color: pinkandpurple. She likes dresses. She likes bows. She likes hair bows. And she likes hair brushes. She brushes hair. Her hair. My hair. Caleb's hair (until "Bam-Bam" attacks). If it's hair it needs to be brushed.

Apparently what Shannon forgot to mention when she called earlier about things my children need that she accidentally has is this: she is in fact a hair brush black hole.

Shannon has a hair brush that she keeps in her purse, at work, in the car, or wherever else she is likely to be at any given time. The rest of the family has a hair brush that stays in the bathroom in a drawer. Whenever anyone needs to brush his (or more likely her) hair, that person knows to go to the bathroom, take the hair brush out of the drawer, perform any and all necessary brushing, and always put the brush back. There is never a question of where the hair brush is. It's in the drawer.

This morning there was no brush in the drawer.

Or in the bathroom. Or in the living room. Or kitchen. Or bedrooms. Or any room in the house. The hair brush is not here.

No big deal, right?

Did you forget about the sick princess?

There are tears. There are sobs. There are wails. There is an inconsolable princess and no hair brush.

So I call Shannon at work and find out that she couldn't find a hair brush and accidentally (accidentally?!) took ours to work with her. Realizing exactly what this development has done to my physical, emotional, mental, spiritual (and any thing else you can think of) well-being she asks, facetiously, "Is there anything else I can do to make your day worse?".

Nothing came to mind.

Tom

The music is not the ministry, we are.

2005-10-31T14:56:00.000-05:00

Some things bug me. I mean really, deeply, maybe even disproportionately bug me. And when I get bugged I just stay that way about it. No ifs ands or buts. Mainstream Christian music bugs the crap out of me.

Let me start by clarifying this. I am a Christian (but don't believe everyone who says that just because they do), or at least I believe myself to be one. I subscribe to a certain number of basic tenants of the Christian faith, among them:

There is a God.

God loves us.

God became human in Jesus and died as a sacrifice for our sins.

Before he died, Jesus showed us how to live, and it was fairly simple:

Love God. Love each other.

I am not trained in theology and am only moderately well read in scripture. I am not where I would like to be to lay out a theological argument, and I have no intention of doing so. I am merely listing some observations and personal reflections from someone who is a Worship Leader in a church and has for years been a musician who is a Christian, while not necessarily a "Christian musician".

I have been working on some new material for a new band called The Silent Screen (more details about this project to come as they develop). One line that keeps popping into my head to as I work up lyrics is this: "What do we have to offer, heaven or hell? And who could tell if we're not living love?" I hear about love all the time. God's love for us. Our love for God. Our love for each other. I love you. All we need is love. Love love love love love love love. The word is so used up it seems to have little meaning. And everyone brings a different interpretation of its meaning to any discussion about it.

Often on Christian radio (I'm talking mostly about K-Love and Air 1) I hear "love songs" about Jesus that come off (to me at least) as being as trite and ridiculous as any other "love song" on the radio (just replace "baby" with "Jesus"). I don't know that we Christians have any better understanding of what love is and how to go about loving as anyone else. We sure do know a fair amount about not loving as far as I can tell.

The whole idea of "hate the sin: love the sinner" seems asinine to me. Whenever my wife seems mad at me, she is as likely to deny that she is angry as to admit to it. Often we can only agree that she is acting angry, whether or not she actually is angry. If we are acting hateful, it makes very little difference to the recipient whether or not we actually do hate them. And we Christians like to act out about a lot of things totally forgetting that there are actual people affected by our ravings against them. I am mostly writing here about the way we treat homosexuality and homosexuals.

I am not convinced that homosexuality is a sin. You hear a lot of people say that the Bible condemns it, but my Bible reading has found little evidence of this. My point would be the same, however, whether or not I did believe that homosexuality is sinful. Homosexuality seems to be the only "sin" that we would require someone to abandon completely before entering the life of the church. We'll put up with any number of proud, arrogant, selfish people. We don't even call on them to "repent" of their sinful attitudes (which are clearly Biblically labeled as such, insofar as I can understand it). We just can't handle homosexuals wanting to come to God and worship Him. We seem to only be able to accept them if they promise to no longer be that which they have always been. And we love to point out how far we have "fallen" by allowing homosexuals to be incorporated into mainsteam society, as though back when we were enslaving Africans, oppressing women, lynching, segregating, stealing land from the people who were here first, or burning "witches" at the stake we were really close to God, but now that we're tolerating a stigmatized and ostracized minority we are falling away from the narrow path. Not my God. Not my path.

That just bugs me. And I've found myself staying bugged about it. And I think I plan to stay bugged about it. But what does it have to do with music?

Honestly, not a lot. It's just that the perceived inherent moral superiority of music that often shamelessly and meaninglessly invokes certain keywords (God, Jesus, savior, etc.) designed to allow mainstream Christians to open up their purse strings without feeling guilty about supporting "immoral" entertainment mediums bugs me in the same way that our aggressive crusade against homosexuality (and by extention: homosexuals) does. I just can't help thinking about a worship song that I don't hear too much of anymore: "They Will Know We are Christians by Our Love". Not what we're against. Not what we hate. Not what we boycott. Not what we just can't in good conscience tolerate (or allow anyone else to). They'll know we our Christian by our love.

There's that word again.

Love.

We still don't seem to understand it. We certainly don't have a monopoly on it. I'd take Bono dropping F-bombs on live TV and aggressively combating poverty and hunger over the fundamentalist mouth-piece mainstream Christian media any day. It's not the message of the lyrics of the song that counts the most, it's what we're doing to show the love of God to a world that desperately needs it. The music is not the ministry. We are.

Stay tuned for more on this topic and others, and for updates about my music and projects.

Tom